[undecided123]

Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years. I trust him completely, and he has lots of girls that are his friends and he hangs out with them without me. I went away for a week recently and he went out with this girl from work and a bunch of other friends to a bar. The next day they went to a drive in, then the next day he invited her over to our place and watched a show together, then they met up with friends and went to a bar.

The next day they spent the whole day together and she invited him over to her house. There he met her entire family, stayed for dinner and watched a movie. He only told me about them hanging out that day, and him meeting her family. I know in my heart that he would never cheat on me, but I have a huge issue with her being in our place when I don't even know her. She even made him take a picture of her on my couch, and I saw it on Facebook when I looked up the girl.

We had a huge conversation, and almost broke up. We are trying to work through this, but it is very difficult for me to know that he has to see her at work. She is a lot younger then us and I believe she is trying to break us up. I am not one of those crazy girls that checks phones for messages and stuff, nor do I want to be like that.

I need direction on how to deal with this situation and what other peoples thoughts are. Thank you!

[ANGIE4124]

If I have understood you correctly, the issue is; you not knowing her, a Facebook photo and him not telling you of this particular invite over to your place when you were away? Considering he mentioned the rest of the activities, I gather by his neglect, it has got you thinking all over the place… What is the likelihood of your boyfriend cheating, when you trust him completely? This is where only you can judge the real status and strength of your relationship before contemplating anything further.

Be it she is younger and his work colleague is immaterial of how you handle this. A huge conversation is a polite way of saying; huge arguments when it almost caused you too break up? So lets not kid ourselves, you are right to be ticked off at him, but not her! However, you only have control over your own environment with him and not the girl… My suggestion is; state only the facts and feelings that you have and make it clear, whilst you have trust in him; it made you uneasy and you would appreciate him sharing all the activities (not be accountable for nor checking up on him), but by open honest relaxed communication. Be re-assuring to his confidence that he can be open and understanding of your boundaries on visitors to your place when anyone is away.

If there is something going on, kick him to the kerbside. Ha!

[talaniman]

I think to some extent, he is taking unfair advantage of your trusting nature, and crosses the boundaries of what's good behavior.

Tell him so and get a better clarity about those boundaries.