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    Sophie27's Avatar
    Sophie27 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 10, 2012, 06:27 PM
    Boyfriend's past-shag co-worker still on scene
    Before I officially got with my boyfriend there was a co-worker of his whom used to contact him a lot. Always the only girl left after work drinks, all possible social website contact and texting him in the early hours of the morning. At first, I never said anything because I didn't want to come across as insecure. I always had a guy instinct feeling about her but all he ever told me was that they had a kiss one Xmas party.

    Anyway, I recently found out it was more than a kiss and it was casual sex occasionally. This was a few months before me but I don't know how to let it go. They still work together and he has to sit opposite her. I don't feel comfortable and I love him to pieces. I know she likes him more than what he makes out and I don't know if I can feel OK about that. I don't trust her and I don't know if I even trust him because I feel like he lied about her to me in the first place when technically he never really had to tell me.

    Now he tries not to go out for drinks if she is going to be there because he doesn't want to upset me but I don't want out relationship to be like that. I don't want to make him do anything he doesn't want to.

    What do I do?
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert
    		  
    #2

    Sep 10, 2012, 07:35 PM
    Your relationship should be built on trust. If you don't trust him because he lied about her, then you don't have a good relationship at all. You can't be on the fence... you either let him work and go out in peace, or tell him he can't be trusted.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Sep 10, 2012, 08:55 PM
    This was before you meet him, as you get older, and if still dating, they will have lots and lots of ex's and have often had sex with many different ladies.

    If he is over her, and not seeing her, you either trust him or you don't,

    If you can't trust him, leave him, since there is nothing without trust
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