[Charlie5593852]

So I've been dating my girlfriend for a while now (I'm 19 and she's 20) and late last night we were talking about our sex life and she told me about how during sex she never really has an orgasm, she says that while I'm doing it she will sometimes have "mini orgasms" until I finish, but that she doesn't have some one big orgasm. Is that a bad thing? I feel bad cause I feel like she never finishes and I want to please her more by getting her to have that one big orgasm instead of those mini orgasms. If she really has never finished then what can I do to help her have her orgasm?

[Cat1864]

Both of you need to understand that the female body is different from the male's in that orgasm is not the 'finish' of sex. Generally, when a male orgasms he also ejaculates. This tells his body that its job is done. That isn't the case for women.

Orgasm feels good and there is some research that it may have a part in aiding conception, but it isn't a biological goal line for females.

That said, you cannot help her have an orgasm of any type unless she tells you what is arousing and stimulating to her. She has smaller orgasms which puts her ahead of many women who don't even experience that much.

Don't go into sex with the goal of giving her a huge climax. All that will do is put pressure on her to give you what you want and her body will react negatively. Instead, enjoy the journey. Don't be afraid to share with each other what feels good and what doesn't. Try different things. Through experimentation and sharing fantasies you might discover new levels of physical intimacy.

Remember that arousal in the female begins in the brain. Find out what stimulates her mentally. It also begins long before we take our clothes off or get any where close having physical sex. Building up anticipation can be a big factor in building up to a stronger climax.