[verydarkhere]

Hi everyone.

I'm new member of this web. I’m struggling to make a serious decision which will effect to the rest of my life. I tried to find someone who had the same situation as mine so I can make it right for my life. And I found this web which is very helpful. Here is my story.

I was with my husband for 7 years and married for 2. We had a wonderful time in our first 5 years then my husband quit his job and stayed depress and unhappy. By that time I was the one to make money for the cost living of both and did show my support to him. But 2 years were a long time and I can't handle it anymore.

1 year ago, I met a guy who is younger than me 4 years. We talking a lot but we are in different countries. While my husband went back to his country to find new job and settle down before I come there, me and my lover decided to meet up and spend 2 months together. We had wonderful time. We went to vacations. In the end we got caught by my husband's friend.

My husband is hurt, angry, feels betray, love at the same time. I told him everything except that me and my lover stayed together for 2 months because if I tell my husband about this, then there will not be a chance that he want to fix our married.

I have to think to make my decision, either stay or go. I love my husband so much and he is sweet and wonderful man ever but I can't stay with unhappy person. Off course it is not my choice anymore to choose but I think my husband willing to fix married but he still need to think about its about me, I’m not sure. I also love my lover and want to know him better and spent time more and more with him. But he is very young and still student so I'm not sure if our relationship can survive after all. I also don't want to leave my husband because he is the man that I trust the most and I'd afraid that none other men ever love me as he does. I’m almost in the beginning of 30's so we also want a family with kids but there is no sign of that with my lover in the near future and I can see we can be happy when we are around each other.

Sometime I asked myself if I am still in love with my husband and I still don't know the answer but all I and know that I want to be with my lover.

I'm very scare to make my decision. I had read about someone story on this web which she had the same as my situation but I can't reach her because I still don't know good how this website works.

Please help and advise me. Thanks

[aboone922007]

I think you need to completely cut ties with your lover. Think of how you would feel if your husband were doing this to you. Have you tried counseling? If your husband is still willing to work it out, it may be difficult to earn his trust again, but it's worth a try.

[C0bra_M3nace]

Do you really think the marriage will work this time? The marriage got to a point where you could cheat on him, what makes you think that won't happen again?

You really need to figure out what it is you want.

[verydarkhere]

I think you need to completely cut ties with your lover. Think of how you would feel if your husband were doing this to you. Have you tried counseling? If your husband is still willing to work it out, it may be difficult to earn his trust again, but it's worth a try.

I had the same feeling when he went to the hotel with other girl but I forgive him and understood that he was curious about having sex other girl in a long time relationship.I almost called quit to my lover before he left to go back to his country but then he did that so I kept our plan on.I wonder if I'm still in love with him anymore or he just my best friend who I can't live without.his family and friends knew about what I did.I felt so embarrass.I went to the therapist but they are not so good in my country.

Do you really think the marriage will work this time? The marriage got to a point where you could cheat on him, what makes you think that won't happen again?

You really need to figure out what it is you want.

Thanks C0bra,it is exactly what I worry about.if he is not going to make me happy again then this might going to hurt him 1 more time.or better quit now.but I'm feel scare that every time I think I will not hear him again or see him again,it actually hurt me.me and him are half of the world far.I'm scare that one of other can love me as much as he does.

[C0bra_M3nace]

thanks C0bra,it is exactly what i worry about.if he is not going to make me happy again then this might gonna hurt him 1 more time.or better quit now.but I'm feel scare that every time i think i will not hear him again or see him again,it actually hurt me.me and him are half of the world far.i'm scare that one of other can love me as much as he does.

It might feel like the wrong thing to do, but if you're unhappy then why continue. You're saving the both of you from another heartache.

There is someone out there who will love you just as much if not more and make you happy too. You just have to go find him. Do what makes you happy.

[verydarkhere]

It might feel like the wrong thing to do, but if you're unhappy then why continue. You're saving the both of you from another heartache.

There is someone out there who will love you just as much if not more and make you happy too. You just have to go find him. Do what makes you happy.

Thanks for your advise.I think I know what I want but sometime I'm weak to speak it out.I need more time to think careful.u are right,life is too short that not dare to do what we want to do.

[C0bra_M3nace]

thanks for your advise.i think i know what i want but sometime I'm weak to speak it out.i need more time to think careful.u are right,life is too short that not dare to do what we want to do.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever your choose to do.

[talaniman]

A marriage built on cheating and deciet is a very sorry excuse of a marriage and you should come clean and see what happens. I don't think either of you is a good marriage partner to be honest.

[verydarkhere]

A marriage built on cheating and deciet is a very sorry excuse of a marriage and you should come clean and see what happens. I don't think either of you is a good marriage partner to be honest.

You are right.I don't think I ever want to marry ever again after this.I taking a break from both.