[glorinda]

My X boyfriend only has vistations of our 6mth old. He has not once provided any clothes, daipers since birth of our daughter. He has even kept all the cases of diapers that were given from my family and friends.
Just recently My X did not bring our daughter shoes back. I asked to him to go and get them and ill wait where we exchange. He's reply was no. ( his always take her clothes and doesn't bring them. I had to call the police so they can get back my gifts from the babyshower) I drive to his house to get my daughters shoes and he refused and called the police instead. I did the same since he has history of violence. If he would start providing clothes our daughter would have enough to stay with him, but I have no support from him and Im unemployed and barely making it. My question is would it benefit my case if I go to mediation to have the judge order him to bring back the same clothes I bring my daughter in? Or address this matter in a letter to my X. The reason for taking to one step higher is because I do not want to go through what I went through with our daughter present. It shouldn't be OK to argue in the presence of our daughter.

[cdad]

If it has become a problem then it may need to be revisited by the courts. You can amend the current arrangement to add the needed language. The basics of it being that a full accounting of clothing and items need to be exchanged. Im not saying it has to be exact just reasonable.

[ScottGem]

Why haven't you gone for child support?

[glorinda]

Why haven't you gone for child support?

I have applied for child support. He does't have any earned income. Hes receiving Calworks and collecting SSI from his 12yr old with bipolar.

[AK lawyer]

... My question is would it benefit my case if I go to mediation to have the judge order him to bring back the same clothes I bring my daughter in? Or address this matter in a letter to my X. The reason for taking to one step higher is because I do not want to go through what I went through with our daughter present. It shouldnt be ok to argue in the presence of our daughter.

The judge assigned to the case doesn't mediate; and in many places the mediator is not a judge at all. So if you are asking whether, at mediation, you can get a judge to order your child's father to do something, the answer would be no.

If you go to mediation or court, find someone to watch her; she doesn't need to come with you.

[glorinda]

The judge assigned to the case doesn't mediate; and in many places the mediator is not a judge at all. So if you are asking whether, at mediation, you can get a judge to order your child's father to do something, the answer would be no.

If you go to mediation or court, find someone to watch her; she doesn't need to come with you.

Thank you for your clearification.
Can the mediator help settle an agreement between my my X and I without seeing a judge. I have emailed my X my request prior, but has not respect it. And if he agrees to it with the mediator present, will the mediator add it to the orders?

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, mtost courts do not allow the child ( baby) in the court.

Next he does not owe you nor is he required to buy anything so get over that. What he should do as a parent and what he is legally obligated to is two different things.

Right now both of you are being petty and using the child to fight over issues that you are mad at each other over other things too.

You both need to stop using the child as a tool to fight over.

1. stop expecting him to buy anything
2. if you can not get court child support, that is all there is, no making him pay outside of court
3. clothes. So next time don't send her with shoes. Give him a written list of what to return the next time.
4 sue him in small claims court over items not returned after a few weeks if you want to be that way.