[driscolie]

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years. The last 3 months of the relationship got weird. We both have great jobs that require us to travel and I think the stress of our busy lives caught up to us. I have nothing bad to say about her, she is a beautiful woman inside and out. The reason I broke up with her is because she said "I'm not happy". However, minuscule that may sound, we had discussed the issue previously in the relationship and I was putting a lot of effort into changing how she felt. No one cheated, no trust was broken, 4 months down the road I'm still looking back asking "What the happened?"

I'm giving her her space. She moved downtown near her best friend and is fortunate to be surrounded by people who care for her (as am I). From the day I met her something told me "This is the one". Looking back I still feel, if we try again, she's it for me. I pray everyday, not asking to make her the one, but that if she is help me make it happen. Here's the dilemma:

She's confused about what she wants in life, where she wants to live, do, be. I want to respect her and give her the time she needs to figure herself out. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Is it wrong for me to date other women during this time? Do I wait for her to reach out to me before we talk. We spoke the first 2-3 months of the break-up only a hello here and there but I have since cut communication telling her "I want you to be happy, I am always here if you need me, I love you"

I am so confused as to what to do now... this is the only breakup we've had... she's 26 I'm 25. If she comes back I will end up marrying her...

[Magpie95]

Well, this is one of the more mature breakups. They aren't as common but they do happen when people truly respect each other. It sounds like the issue is timing. She just isn't there yet in life. Perhaps she has some more living and experiencing to do before she is ready to settle. When she decides to hang up her dancing shoes or she's seen enough of the world to know that you create who you are... you don't find who you are... she may reach out to you... she may not. In the meantime, don't wait. Date... live your life... have fun. Feel grateful that you met her and had such a great experience. Of course, since you are still thinking of her a lot... don't date too seriously. Just get out casually. Date a bunch of people. That's what I did. And eventually, you will think of her less and less. And that is usually the time that the other person reaches out... right at the time that you have slipped into a new life and have become use to them not being around. Who knows... you might be surprised and meet someone that is even a more perfect match! If you don't end up with her.. She had a good guy to set a standard to and you had a good woman... and that is a valuable thing. So, let her do her thing and don't contact her. Give her the space... and start enjoying yours.

Life... you never know what's going to happen. That's the fun and the frustration.

-One woman's opinion