[UnluckyMe]

I've had this female friend for the past 2+ years. We've known each other for the past 5 years. She contacted me out of the blue looking for advice about her boyfriend (now ex) 2 years ago when we first started becoming friends. She never really took my advice. Anyway, they broke up about 9 months ago. She started to grow on me a lot long before this but I wasn't going to act on it. Just a side note, she used to always tell me that her other friends weren't really good friends at all so she could never "talk" to them or trust them for that matter. Anyway, her older cousin finally talked to her and got some sense into her head and she finally moved on from this ex... even though I gave her the same advice. Fast forward to the end of May. She was telling me about this guy she likes who lives 700 miles away. Then randomly, she told me she also had a crush on me. At first I was shocked, then really excited, and then 2 weeks later I told her I don't want to just be an option because it's just too hard. Anyway, our friendship took a huge blow. I mended things when I said let's forget any of that even happened, but it was hard for me to turn my feelings off just like that. It didn't feel like we were back to our old friendship either.

She left for another country for the summer break to be with her relatives. A week before she left we were at a concert and she was making out with a random dude. I got really jealous. Her Twitter was blowing up from her horrible friends she always told me about saying, "yay you're finally a sl*t, get it in!" and telling her to hook up with more guys and garbage like that. The reason I liked her so much as a friend (and more) was because she was the exact opposite of this. She had good morals and a strong head on her shoulders. She didn't even care that she hurt my feelings until 4-5 days later when she finally apologized. She always said she didn't want to kiss just anyone and that she was waiting for the right person etc etc and I loved that about her. Well now she talks to these other friends all the time, referring to them as best friends, and I feel like I don't even matter to her now. They are horrible examples and I know it. I get so down knowing that she's changed in a matter of weeks. It's like she's trying to please these friends for no reason. It gets me so upset and it feels even worse that there's nothing I can do about it. I tried talking to her about it but it seems like she's built up a wall against me. She doesn't talk to me like she did before she moved me out of the friend-zone and forced me back into it. I guess these "other friends" have replaced me. She left the country in June for 2 months and the Friday after she left she was able to get on Skype... we were talking and all of a sudden she ignores me for 30 minutes. I looked at her Twitter and it said, "yay finally skyping with (bad influence friend)!" So I just signed off. That's the last time we talked.

I haven't talked to her in 2 months now and she randomly likes a picture last week that I put on Instagram. I'm trying not to over think it but right after I posted a picture she posted a picture that she labeled, "Cousin playing with my Ted" (the teddy bear I got her before she left). I’m not making an attempt to talk to her because I feel like the ball is in her court at this point. I guess nice guys really do finish last and on top of it, I lose a great “pre-May” friend.

Any insights or advice y'all can give? I just don't know what to say if she ever tries talking to me now that she's back... especially if she asks why I didn't talk to her all summer. I guess I shouldn’t get my hopes up.

[Homegirl 50]

If she does contact you I would ignore her. If she ask why you have not talked to her, tell her it is because she treated you like crap.
Don't even think about this girl. She is so not worth it.

[UnluckyMe]

It's so hard since she was such a big part of my life and now all of a sudden I have this big hole to fill in. :(

[VioletSkies]

I get what you're going through, it happens to everyone. My advice is, don't give up on her. If you do, you may never get to see the old friend you once knew. Also, if she treats you like crap, I suggest you not take it, don't let her get to you. Like you said, she's changed, and she honestly doesn't seem to be the old girl she once was. Which is why I once again recommend that you don't give up on her, maybe give her little hints of when you don't approve of what she's doing. Like, when she tweeted that thing about a "bad influence friend" don't take the crap and tell her to stop. I also suggest that you make a couple of new friends, friends that you trust and can talk to. I understand that she was a very big part of your life and you don't want to lose her, but sometimes you have to let go for a little. Remember that some things you have to set free, and... well you know the rest. Good Luck man, hope I helped.

-Love yourself and the world will love you. <3
----VioletSkies----