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Kerri Dawne · Aug 21, 2012, 03:27 PM

My boyfriend was drunk & acting extremely rude all night. He got us kicked out of the bar we were trying to get into, continued to get drunker & when I wanted to go home he got mad at me. We all took a cab home and his actions continued. He was calling me names I won't even repeat and embarrassing me in front of the people we were with. He kept saying "come on hit me you *&%$" until I finally slapped him just to make him stop. It was not hard at all but he got a big smirk on his face and said "I'm going to call the cops".Everyone there told him not to and to smarten up but he did anyway. I have never been in trouble before in my life but I was handcuffed and had to spend the night in jail. A restraining order was put in place & since I lived with him, I had to sleep on my sister's couch for a month while trying to get everything put in place. I missed 3 weeks of work, had to find a new place to live, spent over $3500 in lawyer's fees, was on probation for a year and almost lost my job. The cost of it all racked up my credit cards and I almost had to declare bankruptcy.The pure humiliation of it was unbearable. When I later asked him how he could do something like that to someone he said it was because I wouldn't hold his hand in the cab.I admit that slapping him was wrong but do I have any rights in this situation?

joypulv · Aug 21, 2012, 04:12 PM

Under the law, I don't think you have much of a chance. There were witnesses that saw you slap him, hit him, whatever the police report said. These days men are given more 'equal rights' against women who get physical against them. Maybe it's extreme, maybe not, but it sounds like you didn't get a lawyer as soon as you were arrested.
I can't imagine that you are even speaking to this guy, whether he was drunk and not his usual self or not. He sounds horrible. If it makes you feel better, file a Small Claims against him. He will be able to respond in writing before the court date and may actually feel guilty enough to pay some of those expenses. But if not... you will probably lose the case and the filing fee.