[overit08]

I've been married 8 years I met my husband whist I was visiting the u.s we got married after knowing each other 3 months.I noticed my husband had a bit of a short temper and I put it down to being from NY one day we had an argument I noticed he was insecure type he got physcia with me slapped me a little bit I of course was going to end it there and said I was going back overseas so he sold his stuff and got on a plane with me. Years went on noticed his moods but never got physcia again everything was fine. After five years we finally had a child with the help of medical treatment. After about six months I noticed he started becoming stressed with work and would raise his voice lose his temper and startle my daughter.I began to get pissed off and then before my daughter turned two we moved back to the u.s so my husband could spend time with his family as he is an only child and it is there only grand child.I stayed with my inaws what a mistake my inlaws were crazy I'm sure everyone thinks that! Not only that they speak russian and I don't and loved talking about me behind my back one day his mom had some vodka and went ballistic at me for no reason she came charging towards me like a crazed bull and grabbed me I was so distraught as my daughter was freaking out I called 911 the police game and of course it was not serious enough they laughed pretty much and I felt like an idiot.after that I said to my husband have to move out or divorce we got a place I was working he wasn't and he was giving me a hard time I also forgot to mention that he has been controing the fiancés since been in u,s and I just opened a bank account which I;ve secretly been hiding my cheques.our marriage now is pretty much at the end of the road. I;m wanting to put our child through school here for a couple of years and wanting to get my own place and he says we can work this out I'm just tired of the verbal abuse the bullying from him and his family the lies I feel like our marriage has no love and respect or trust and if I do leave I know him and his family will do everything to try to get custody as they had threatened that I am petrified I did not grow up here I have no support I am on my own in a big city and I'm also sad as my daughters in the middled of this and everyone loves her and I'm sure she knows this but I have to do what's right for me and how I feel.I want to file for divorce end it here where we started it I was legally married here and not abroad my husband now says he was to quit his job and go on a criuse back abroad to my family in a bid to save our marriage. I'm wanting to move out get my daughter enroled in school here as I some of the programs I have seen here are great and I want to give her that opportunity and get her settled as I know he won't but I have no where to go at one point I thought about going to a shelter as I couldn't take the stress but the idea of that freaks me out cause I haven't been bashed and I have heard that social services can take your child away if as if I went to a place that that I could be perceived as incompetent
Please tell me you thoughts.

[joypulv]

Courts in the US are good about giving both parents custody if neither parent is abusive to the child and can provide, and in the divorce you should be able to get financial support from your husband. You can use the money you have been saving to help pay for a divorce lawyer who can explain how it all works. The sooner you consult one secretly the better, so he doesn't have time to work on lies and divert your marriage assets.
He sounds like he loves you under all his temper, the way he followed you and the way he says you can work it out. But if he can't control his temper (and his family) or go to marriage counseling, then start the divorce.
Where to live is a problem when you have no family of your own here, so look for another mother with child who needs to share a house or apartment.