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    TracyLee's Avatar
    TracyLee Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 19, 2012, 08:56 AM
    Father wants full/joint custody after 9 years.
    My daughters father has been in her life on/off (10 years). Mostly on the last 2 years. He has never been able to pay his ordered support (which is considerably low). He claimed to have PTSD after His 11 months of active military. He now wants joint custody. He lives with his mother. And has a history of assault. I don't know him well enough anymore to say much more. We live in different county's. And my daughter at 10 years old voices she doesn't want the visitation to change. What are the odds he gets full/joint custody?( Neither of which I'm want. ) Can I keep this from happening? If so. What can I do?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Aug 19, 2012, 09:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by TracyLee View Post
    My daughters father has been in her life on/off (10 years). Mostly on the last 2 years. He has never been able to pay his ordered support (which is considerably low). He claimed to have PTSD after His 11 months of active military. He now wants joint custody. He lives with his mother. And has a history of assault. I don't know him well enough anymore to say much more. We live in different county's. And my daughter at 10 years old voices she doesn't want the visitation to change. What are the odds he gets full/joint custody?( Neither of which I'm want. ) Can I keep this from happening? If so. What can I do?

    What exactly is he asking for? 50/50 time with the child? The child will live with him? Something else?

    I see all sorts of full/joint custody questions with different meanings.

    Is there medical proof of PTSD? Living with his mother isn't necessarily a bad thing.

    Your daughter will have little say in the matter. A law guardian will (mostly probably) be appointed to inteview you, the father, perhaps the Grandmother, the child, and that person will make recommendations to the Court - which the Court can accept or refuse.

    If he is a danger to the child you will need proof to keep him from getting whatever it is he is requesting.

    Some of what you posted is puzzling. "My daughters father has been in her life on/off (10 years). Mostly on the last 2 years."

    Does that mean he's been on or off during the last 2 years.

    " He has never been able to pay his ordered support (which is coniderably low)." Take him to Court for contempt if he's not paying Court-ordered support. Unfortunately support and custody/visitation are two very different issues.

    Were you aware of the assault history when you were with him?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Aug 19, 2012, 09:24 AM
    Yes, you need to tell us exactly what he wants, Most likely no he will not get a change, but he has the right to ask, and he may get additional if he does not have a lot of visits now
    TracyLee's Avatar
    TracyLee Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Aug 19, 2012, 11:38 AM
    He wants full custody. But I can't see him getting that. So I'm sure he will settle for 50/50. Which I'm still against. Him and I have been split up since the child was 1. His presence in her life was very spotty. But for the last 2 years he has tried to follow through with his visitations. I have tried many times to get him for contempt of court. Unfortunately his mother works for the DA and child support office. So he knows the loop holes. I did have the child support case transferred after I realized I was not getting a fair case. Which has helped. As far as The assault that he was charged with that was after our relationship ended.
    TracyLee's Avatar
    TracyLee Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 19, 2012, 11:40 AM
    As far as the PTSD I know he was going to a psychiatrist and put on medication. But nothing more has become of that.
    Quote Originally Posted by TracyLee View Post
    He wants full custody. But I can't see him getting that. So I'm sure he will settle for 50/50. Which I'm still against. Him and I have been split up since the child was 1. His presence in her life was very spotty. But for the last 2 years he has tried to follow through with his visitations. I have tried many times to get him for contempt of court. Unfortunately his mother works for the DA and child support office. So he knows the loop holes. I did have the child support case transferred after I realized I was not getting a fair case. Which has helped. As far as The assault that he was charged with that was after our relationship ended.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #6

    Aug 19, 2012, 04:20 PM
    Courts are reluctant to change the status quo. It would probably take coinclusive proof that you are unfit to change the current arrangement
    TracyLee's Avatar
    TracyLee Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 20, 2012, 04:26 PM
    What can truly prove a mother unfit? I mean besides drugs or abuse? If a mother has a career and supports her child. Has no criminal history. Has a house larger than needed and every necessity plus too much unneeded extras. What could there honestly be against her?

    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    Courts are reluctant to change the status quo. It would probably take coinclusive proof that you are unfit to change the current arrangement
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #8

    Aug 20, 2012, 04:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by TracyLee View Post
    What can truely prove a mother unfit? I mean besides drugs or abuse? If a mother has a career and supports her child. Has no criminal history. Has a house larger than needed and every necessity plus to much unneeded extras. What could there honestly be against her?

    I don't know - I'm not a party to this action. I've seen a lot of accusations about a lot of things during custody disputes.

    If you have nothing to be concerned about all the father can do is make threats and look foolish.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #9

    Aug 20, 2012, 04:52 PM
    That's the point, it would be very hard to prove unfitness.

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