[melonsoda]

Hi guys, so I've been dealing with anxiety for the past 3 months. My anxiety is linked to my ex-boyfriend and I. We had mutual masturbation and oral sex. I didn't think that anything would happen, but when April came around, I didn't get my period but finally I got it at the second week of May. The sad thing is that, during the first week I went into full panic that I was indeed pregnant. I know you can't get pregnant through the methods we used if carefully executed. I got my period every single month... but then again at the time I was irregular. I never got to buy a pregnancy test early on because I was too insecure... I couldn't even tell my mom because I was scared how she would react. Finally I bought a package of three pregnancy tests even after I got my period, all were negative. I told my mom eventually and she was surprised a bit but we went to the gynecologist together. The gynecologist did a pregnancy urine test and that came out negative. During the routine pelvic exam, she didn't say anything either and gave me birth control pills.

I guess as the months went by, I thought about seeing a psychologist, which I was able to do. The first appointment didn't really help me when it came to my anxiety, but I do have another appointment in two weeks. Really now, my anxiety comes in waves... some days I feel great and anxiety-free (which is interesting because a month ago I would be living in anxiety). Once I think about me still being pregnant and the fears that emerged with it, I go back into a wave of anxiety. I sometimes look at my belly and wonder if I am pregnant (I've been getting bigger recently, but I'm not sure if it's just excess fat and my imagination). Recently I've been getting some nausea in the morning, occasional back pains, I get super tired by 12 pm, random fluttering in my stomach, constipation, symptoms like that. I know I can't be pregnant but the other side of my mind says I am. I just took another urine pregnancy test about two or three weeks ago since I had to go to the ER, and it was negative as well. At that time, I would've been 2-3 months pregnant if I were pregnant and it would've came out positive by now.

So what should I do during my anxiety downfalls? And about this whole problem in general?

[joypulv]

A good therapist can help with the anxiety, particularly when it is tied to something readily identifiable - the fear that you might be pregnant even when you can't be.
You may have had strict warnings from a parent, or you may wish you were pregnant, or you may know horrible stories about pregnancy - only you can explore all that.
Symptoms of pregnancy are very similar to those of the menstrual cycle. And guess what - anxiety and stress can make them more pronounced.
I know one woman, and know about one other woman, who had 'phantom pregnancies' that could have fooled anyone but an ultrasound - periods stopped, belly got huge, breasts got large, and all the hormones went into action. They were basically based on the desire to be pregnant. It's not too common but something to think about.

[melonsoda]

Thanks... I'll be seeing a psychologist and hopefully she can help me. I think mine is tied to strict warnings from a parent. Actually, it's pretty strict in my family overall on my dad's side. I'm pretty sure my dad would have no problem kicking me out of the house if I were pregnant, or even making me drop out of college when I haven't even started yet...

I think that the wishing could be part of it... so then I could go and fix the problem immediately. I guess it's hard to say that I'm not pregnant, but it's easier to say that I am just because of the way I am.

Horror stories... maybe it's from all the useless researching I did about pregnancy symptoms that made it worse. Like how women say they have their "periods" while pregnant and how some women don't even know they are pregnant... sad I know.

I've heard about phantom pregnancies, and I know that many menstrual symptoms are similar to pregnancy symptoms. I've also started this birth control routine, so I'm guessing that my body's hormones are out of whack and the hormones have similarities to those if you were to get pregnant...

Anyway, thank you for the response!