[Kallone]

The basis is that I feel oppressed. I'm a young Muslim girl living in the united kingdom. My father is very religious and honestly would be considered an extremist. He is very hard on me when it comes to everything, but especially Islam. I'm forced to wear a Burka everywhere I go, and yes, I know that its compulsory, but the fact is, I keep asking myself where he is going to get FORCING someone to wear and to act like someone the are not. I'm not allowed to show to other people who I really am because they assume that I'm too religious to bother with.

Just the other day, I was having a bit of an argument with my mom. She got so mad at me that she told me that she and my dad are planning for me to marry a molana. I'm only 16. Why are they talking about marriage? I hope to become a graduated dentist one day. I keep telling myself that if I study hard then I can move away from them to a place they won't be able to hurt me any more. They have already decided my future for me. I've been feeling lately like there is no point to move on. I hate that feeling.

I know a lot about the religion, despite how this all sounds. I did a GCSE in religious studies on Islam and was awarded an A*. I learnt about the different aspects of the religion. From what I learnt, my parents would be the problem and not the religion, but the only solution I can think of is not be a Muslim any more...
My parent would kill me if they found out.

[Fr_Chuck]

So you put up with this another 2 years till you are 18, then you move out and do what you want.

[0rphan]

Hi Kallone,this is a very sensitive issue.Were you born here or have you moved here? I work with a lady that is muslim and she does not wear the burka.She tells me that this is NOT compulsory and that it is the men in the family that are forcing the women to wear this,she also tells me that it is her choice alone whether or not she complies to this,I understand that her sister chooses to wear the burka and does.. her choice.

The lady I work with wears western dress unless there is a special occasion,however she does cover her head to pray whilst she is in worktime,it being Ramadam at the moment.We often have conversations about religion... I am a christian and of course she a muslim,but our beliefs are the same,we just don't have the controlling aspect to christianity like muslims seem to have.

My friend is married to an english muslim in Islamic law but this is not recognized in british law therefore they will be married again in Britain later this year.She has been in Britain for 5 years and tells me that she now feels more british than her own culture... Pakistan.

I think you need to talk to someone you can trust within your family unit, but someone who has the knowledge and advice that will help you see things from all angles including your fathers.he will be thinking that he is doing what is best for his daughter... understandably,somehow if you could get through to him that you still hold your faith as strong as ever but wish to make your own choices in life,giving the reason why,he may understand once he gets used too it.
This statement I feel must come from a third party as I think you would not be aloud to speak openly to your father on this issue.

Please consider the consequences of what you are asking of him and also yourself.Do you really want to be like the western girls or is it simply a phaze you may be going through... 16 is a very difficult age for any young girl, no matter what their nationality.There is a real chance, should you go your own way,that you will be cast out of the family and community... is this really what you want!

Reading your post I feel that all you want is to please yourself over various issues... not wear the burka,let people look upon you as you and not something covered up,almost hiding.I personally don't think that's an unreasonable request,however I am English and have never had to face these kinds of issues.I respect your faith which I am sure you do.There is no reason why you cannot continue to be muslim but in an open manner as lots of people do in Britain,it is not judged by the clothes we wear but the faith in our hearts.

In Britain you would not be forced to marry against your will to anyone... it's against the law here... British law.

My advice would be... speak freely to a trusted friend or family member .Tell them the WHOLE story from start to finish,not forgetting the details.Listen to what they have to say,then decide together what needs to be done.

I wish you luck.