[bammolitor]

If I have no rights to my children and am paying child support and their insurance can I go after my ex for partial custody rights?

[joypulv]

You are asking two separate questions:
Do you have to pay support even if you don't have custody - yes, if the court said so.
Do you have the right to partial custody if you pay support - you have the right to apply to the court for it.
Please explain how it got this way - did you fail to show in court? Did you not know about it? Were you in jail, the military, or far away? Do you not even have visitation, and why?

[ScottGem]

What makes you think your rights were terminated? However, if a court has ordered support then you are required to pay whether your rights were terminated or not. Some states terminate BOTH rights and responsibilities, others only rights. So it is possible to have your rights terminated and still be responsible for support.

CO like most states make it very difficult to get an involuntary TPR. So I would suspect that rights were not terminated, but ratter custody was terminated.

You need to fill in the blanks here so we can advise whether you have a chance of getting some level of visitation.

[bammolitor]

Thank you and No I did not show for court. There was a restraining order between us through the divorce and I seen no paper work nor did I receive any mail through that time. The divorce was granted by default and I received the paper work at my company Christmas party. This all took place in 05 through 07. Since then I have remarried and we have a one year old boy together. I have never fought her do to the fact I wanted this to be as easy on the children as possible and things seemed to be working fine up until about a year ago. She has lost her job her house and has been in and out of rehab. She and my children now reside in her sisters basement. I have never missed a childsupport payment and have paid their health insurance this whole time.
I have offered to take the children until she can get on her feet but she is having none of it. She insists I have no rights to my children which if I've paid and seen them every chance I get. So I guess what I am asking is if I have no rights to them am I finicially responsible for them. She wants more money but why would I give her more if she could not make the $160,000 job she had plus the child support I paid work?
I do not want to wipe my hands free of my children I just want a fair shake at raising them and what does a father have to go through to get that? Do I take her to court while she is down and is it possible that the courts would give me custody before the Aunts and Uncles would get it. I have no drug use nor am I a drinker I live a pretty sober and structered life which the children have not had in a few years and I am just now finding out more and more how bad it got with her drugging and drinking. My wife loves those kids and they love her. My oldest wants to live with her dad but they give her no choice. My youngest who is eight really does not know what she wants and rightfully so. My oldest is eleven. What to do and what are my options? Thank you.

[JudyKayTee]

Thank you and No I did not show for court. There was a restraining order between us thru the divorce and I seen no paper work nor did I recieve any mail thru that time. The divorce was granted by default and I recieved the paper work at my company Christmas party. This all took place in 05 thru 07. Since then I have remarried and we have a one year old boy together. I have never fought her do to the fact I wanted this to be as easy on the children as possible and things seemed to be working fine up til about a year ago. She has lost her job her house and has been in and out of rehab. She and my children now reside in her sisters basement. I have never missed a childsupport payment and have paid thier health insurance this whole time.
I have offered to take the children til she can get on her feet but she is having none of it. She insists I have no rights to my children which if I've paid and seen them every chance I get. So I guess what I am asking is if I have no rights to them am I finicially responsible for them. She wants more money but why would I give her more if she could not make the $160,000 job she had plus the child support I paid work?
I do not want to wipe my hands free of my children I just want a fair shake at raising them and what does a father have to go thru to get that? Do I take her to court while she is down and is it possible that the courts would give me custody before the Aunts and Uncles would get it. I have no drug use nor am I a drinker I live a pretty sober and structered life which the children have not had in a few years and I am just now finding out more and more how bad it got with her drugging and drinking. My wife loves those kids and they love her. My oldest wants to live with her dad but they give her no choice. My youngest who is eight really does not know what she wants and rightfully so. My oldest is eleven. What to do and what are my options? Thank you.

I'd file for custody, PROVE what you have said and reunited with your kids. The children get to have an opinion but that's all it is - an opinion.

I don't think you're kicking her when she's down, if that is your concern. I think now is the time to make the move, before things get worse, before your children are any older.

Your wife must be a special person to want to open her heart and her home to your children, particularly when your/her child is so young.

I have to comment on the "papers at the Christmas party" detail. I own a process service company. You would be amazed at the number of people who demand (not ask) that the "partner" be served on Christmas Day, Thanksgiving Day, somebody's wedding, a kid birthday party. I won't do it, but I know people who would. Talk about trying to get the last shot!

[Fr_Chuck]

You have rights to file in court, what happens can depend on your evidence and how good your attorney is.

But as long as there is a child support order you have to pay and I see no reason that you could get it over turned. But you could get some visit or custody level ( if it all goes the way you said)

[ScottGem]

She insists I have no rights to my children which if I've paid and seen them every chance I get. So I guess what I am asking is if I have no rights to them am I finicially responsible for them. She wants more money but why would I give her more if she could not make the $160,000 job she had plus the child support I paid work?
.

So you are taking her word that you have no rights? You haven't seen the divorce judgment that was issued? In my opinion she's lying to you. If you were ordered to pay support, your rights were not terminated. You would simply have to go to court to enforce your rights.

And you shouldn't be thinking of kicking her when she's down because she certainly did that to you. You should be thinking of the best interests of your children. Go to court and ask the court to award you temporary custody, until the mother can get back on her feet. Cite the fact that they are living in a basement and the mother is in and out of rehab. Tell the court that you will be willing to cede custody back to her when she's on her feet. Tell the court you are willing to give her generous visitation, even though she has denied you those rights. Emphasize, that your only concern is the welfare of the children.

[AK lawyer]

So you are taking her word that you have no rights? You haven't seen the divorce judgment that was issued? In my opinion she's lying to you. If you were ordered to pay support, your rights were not terminated. You would simply have to go to court to enforce your rights. ....

In my experience, with respect to a default divorce situation, it would be normal to award custody to the plaintiff (the non-defaulting party), with "reasonable visitation" to the other parent. The idea is that "reasonable" would be in the discretion of the plaintiff.

If in fact she is not being reasonable, and is allowing OP no visitation at all, specific visitation (at the very least) should be awarded.