[Steve Brule]

I need help with my relationship. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 5 years (im 23 and she is 21) and she wants to get married/engaged. I just graduated from university and she still has another year. I want to make some money and I want both of us to have steady jobs before we get married/engaged.

She sees her friends and acquaintances from high school and college getting engaged and gets really jealous and upset saying things like "i'll never get engaged/married" and "i'll be waiting for you forever to propose."

What? We just graduated from college lol.

It doesn't help that her mother and family are being es about it and are telling her that I am stringing her along and ill dump her. They have also tried to convince her that I probably have cheated on her because they have all been cheated on before. (obvioulsy a lie, I would not do that)

I feel really bad because she is really insecure about herself and I encourage her all of the time to do other things but it seems like I am the only thing she wants to focus on I am the center of her universe.

The problem is I really love this girl because she is such a nice girl and smart and fun to be with. She is also my first real serious girlfriend. ( she dated a guy in high school seriously for about 1.5 years and he cheated on her).

She also gets really jealous about a lot of things and I communicate with her all of her problems but all she does is cry really hard and I feel terrible for her and pity her. I do really care about her a lot, its just she does a couple of things that bother me and when we fight about it she says she'll work on it or stop, but it will happen the next month or 2 months (conveniently on her period) lol. We also fight when I want to be left alone and she thinks I hate spending time with her.

I just need some different points of views on this. I know some will say I should communicate with her more but I have tried everything from threatening to break up with her to being kind and listening to everything. I wouldn't "waste" almost 5 years of my life on someone I did not care about and love but it seems I have a hard time getting that point across to my girlfriend.

I know I rambled but thank you in advance for any advice!

[Wondergirl]

Would getting engaged (proposing, ring, and all) help her calm down or would that cover only the tip of the iceberg? (You don't have get married next week, you know.)

Or is there more going on here that you are not sure about with her?

[Homegirl 50]

After 5 years, why is there not an engagement? That does not cost money. You say you pity her, that is kind of sad. Is there some reason you don't even want to get engaged?

You may have a hard time getting the point that you love her across to her because after 5 years, you have not even proposed. You have threatened to break up with her to make her see thing your way, and the way you come across it's like you are dealing with a child, not someone you love.