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angelise21 · Aug 10, 2012, 07:19 PM

My ex and I broke up. He left without caution to a location 3-4 hour drive away from me to live with his mother and siblings, keeping in mind he has aspergers. Now I'm expecting with his child. He appears to want a part of his child's life purchasing items, maintaining contact with me through his mother. I just want to know for our child's sake, should I suggest he move in with his father (who has also broken up with his partner) who lives just 1 minute away from me.

My intention is to have him see his child regularly, if he lives with his mother he will barely see the child- mind you, his mother hates his father- and his mother is the only means of contact I have with my ex because he is assumably too immature to talk to me instead of using his mother as a messenger.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 10, 2012, 08:51 PM

You can suggest it. If he left with no reason, he may not want to be so close. Where was he living before you two broke up?

angelise21 · Aug 11, 2012, 07:14 PM

That is a good point, but things are getting a little rocky there with his brother physical and mental on the brothers part, for some reason I actually care.. I now also feel he could benefit from moving with more to gain, he was living with his grandfather, he and I would sleep at mine or I would sleep at his, there was no stability with living arrangements due to my personal concerns

Homegirl 50 · Aug 11, 2012, 07:27 PM

Well like I said, you can suggest it.
How active do you think he will be, is able to be? It may not matter where he lives.

angelise21 · Aug 11, 2012, 07:29 PM

He is 19, I am 25, there were great times and lame times, he has been avoiding to call text me, so his mother is our messenger, the mother and I maintain a civil relationship for our expectant child...

I ask myself why is it that I care how he is?

He's having a hard time with his brother at his mums house since he moved there, and I've always expressed through his mother that he can call, or stay for a weekend escape knowing full well that even though he wants to be part of the child's life he wants nothing so far to do with me, this I can accept and am content with,

But why is it that I leave him open arms when he left without caution, and seems he has no care for my feelings? I say perhaps I care because I have part of him inside of me growing?? I don't know, and wonder if this is acceptable and normal to care when he doesn't??

I will always have a sense of distrust, resentment and anger for leaving without trying and perhaps it was a good thing but I still care??

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Well like I said, you can suggest it.
How active do you think he will be, is able to be? It may not matter where he lives.

I know the mother said she will be over so often I will get sick of her lol and I know he would come with her too assumable every fortnight weekend or a week at a time, if he lived here I guess he would see Caprice whenever I go see him, or pick him up, you're making me think, it is me he is trying to avoid, so what is the difference when caprice is born,m aspergers is so unpredictable, I just want to do what I can so that the baby doesn't miss out on a father, beyond my control

Homegirl 50 · Aug 12, 2012, 07:41 AM

You stay healthy and get through your pregnancy first. Make sure this child is being supported financially.
How old were you when you started seeing this man?
This not a very stable situation. I don't think where he lives is going to make much difference.
Do you have family, people who will give you moral support?