[jleen2]

My husband and I have been married for 17 years , after 1 year of being married he had a one night stand and mysterously the girl got pregnant on purpose . We know she has slept with other guys at the time so a definite dna test is in order but here it is 16 years later . And she files for medical making the state interested in my husbands income . He agrees to take a paternity test but she says she's not going to allow her daughter to take the test . The child is 15 and wants nothing to do with my husband providing he is the father . Because of all the brain washing that the mother has done over the years against my husband . She never allowed much visitation because he was married to me . The child is 3 years away from being 18 jeff has had very little contact with this mother because she's said the only way he's seeing the girl is if the mother is around , we did in fact for about 1 month when the child was 14 try to see her and the child threw a tempertantrum the visits were not healthy because the mother kept interefering the child would constantly stay by her mom and her mom would answer every question that we asked to the child . It was not healthy . My husband doesn't completely believe this is his kid she doesn't even say hello to him . Its really ridiculous you would think she would want to know if he's the father . My question why does my husband have to pay for a kid he had no say in whether she was born . Or have had no say in how a simple visit could be done on his terms he's never been allowed to bond with this kid because of the mother . I know we should have gone to court along time ago but now what's the point .again the mother and child both want nothing to do with my husband . I swear fathers have no rights and mothers have to many

[Alty]

I have a few questions. Has your husband been paying child support during this child's life? Did he know about the child when the lover found out she was pregnant?

It sounds like he's known about this child and his possible paternity for a long time. The child has spent time with him, and you.

Is all of this because the mother is suddenly seeking support from your husband, or has there been support all along and your husband is now refusing to pay because he questions paternity?

This would have been handled better had it been done 16 years ago. Now you'll need a lawyer, and you'll need that lawyer to demand a paternity test.

Fact is, if he's been paying all along, for the last 16 years, or just the last few years, it may be a bit to late to say "I don't think I'm the father". It's now implied that he is because he paid, and tried to have a relationship with this child.

Sounds like bitter grapes to me, on both sides.

[ScottGem]

he had a one night stand and mysterously the girl got pregnant on purpose...
My question why does my husband have to pay for a kid he had no say in whether she was born .

Excuse me? Mysteriously? You don 't know how a woman gets pregnant? And there are loads of woman striving to conceive who would like to know how to get pregnant on purpose from one time. Did she steal his sperm somehow and impregnate herself? I'm assuming your husband had sexual intercourse with her. Therefore he had a say. And, if he is the father, then he should have been supporting her for all these years and fighting to be a part of her life.

she says she's not going to allow her daughter to take the test...

She has no choice. If she files for support or any financial assistance from him he has a right to demand a paternity test. Unless at sometime in the past he signed an acknowledgment of paternity.

or have had no say in how a simple visit could be done on his terms he's never been allowed to bond with this kid because of the mother .

This is partially his fault for not fighting for visitation.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not unsympathetic to your plight. I'm going to take you at your word, that this was a one night stand a long time ago and that you would both rather forget about it. But that you have tried to do the right thing (though not too hard).

But the fact remains that, if a test shows he's the father, he has responsibilities he has to face up to. Also ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.