[stargirl2712]

Hey everyone... I've had a very rough couple of years going to college.

First, I had a difficult time making friends as I felt I didn't really have anyone I could talk to. I did have a wonderful boyfriend the first year and half... he was my best friend, but we ended up breaking up because of difference in religion. That was during winterbreak of my sophomore year. I was confident that when I returned to school, I would just stick with my roommate (whos been my one true friend) since she was my support system. When I went to school, she told me that she was suffering from serious depression. She even attempted to commit suicide once but I found her before she did anything and just watched over her.

That semester was just HELL. I was so worried about her while still dealing with a broken heart. I made the mistake of staying close to my ex, and he ended up hurting me at the end of the semester by talking a lot to another girl but then acting like a couple around me in person.

I wanted so badly to pursue my talents in violin and dance for our school's asian student association, but I didn't make anything in the tryouts for the showcase! (ironically, that was the day before I found out my roommate was suicidal).

Finally, I thought at least my grades were something I could be proud of. I just found out yesterday that I did not get accepted into medical school in my school's medical program! I had better grades/resume that my ex (who got in) and lots of my friends. Its just luck! Maybe the stress during that semester just didn't make me look confident in my medical school interview... I don't know.

I'm feeling so down on myself. How do other people just shine so much while people like me just suffer? I mean I'm a good person and I don't deserve that. I've been questioning why God did all this to me especially when I've worked so hard. In addition, my grandma is very ill right now, and my mom is experiencing health/job problems too. We all work so hard I just want to know that I will shine one day too! I'm just about to hit rock bottom and have so much anxiety... especially to leave my house. I'm thinking of transferring out of my old university because I was really unhappy there. I don't know. Please help a depressed girl out!