[RauschKR]

My boyfriend watches porn and honestly it bothered the living hell out of me until I did a little watching for myself. I figured hey if he could do it so could I. I want him to know that its something we could do together and have fun but I'm not really sure how to introduce it into our relationship. Any ideas?

[CravenMorhead]

Why does it bother you? Think about this question. Does it make you feel inadequate? Not as pretty/thin/big titted/etc. as the models?

If you enjoy it, talk to him about it. If you don't than leave it be. It is important to leave it be and I will tell you why.

The male is a visual creature. Their arousal is very base, look, and too a lesser extent taste touch and smell. It is a physical thing. A woman's arousal is more emotional. It is two completely different methods. Porn does it for a man and doesn't for most women. Trashy romance novels might do it for you, but wouldn't do it for the man.

When we're watching porn we're not judging our mate to the stars. That's unrealistic and we know that. It is just getting a seed of fantasy.

You're boyfriend loves you and makes love to you. He probably also tells you how beautiful you are, even when you don't compare to porn stars. He isn't unsatisfied with you either. He loves you for all your lumps, bumps, and wobbly bits.

I wouldn't try to encroach too much on his porn watching either. It is a private thing. If I would fault him on anything is that he wasn't being discrete about it. Most men are reasonably embarrassed getting caught or it being known what type of porn they were watching.

I think I am rambling. In the end he loves you and the watching of the porn isn't a reflecting on any dissatisfaction with you. If it really bugs you just tell him to hide it better. Don't try to stop him, he will just get more clever in hiding it. A little understanding goes a long way.

The one rider is the porn that is worrisome. Child porn, snuff, or the like. The stuff that is concerning from a social stand point.

[RauschKR]

Why does it bother you? Think about this question. Does it make you feel inadequate? Not as pretty/thin/big titted/etc. as the models?

If you enjoy it, talk to him about it. If you don't than leave it be. It is important to leave it be and I will tell you why.

The male is a visual creature. Their arousal is very base, look, and too a lesser extent taste touch and smell. It is a physical thing. A woman's arousal is more emotional. It is two completely different methods. Porn does it for a man and doesn't for most women. Trashy romance novels might do it for you, but wouldn't do it for the man.

When we're watching porn we're not judging our mate to the stars. That's unrealistic and we know that. It is just getting a seed of fantasy.

You're boyfriend loves you and makes love to you. He probably also tells you how beautiful you are, even when you don't compare to porn stars. He isn't unsatisfied with you either. He loves you for all your lumps, bumps, and wobbly bits.

I wouldn't try to encroach too much on his porn watching either. It is a private thing. If I would fault him on anything is that he wasn't being discrete about it. Most men are reasonably embarrassed getting caught or it being known what type of porn they were watching.

I think I am rambling. In the end he loves you and the watching of the porn isn't a reflecting on any dissatisfaction with you. If it really bugs you just tell him to hide it better. Don't try to stop him, he will just get more clever in hiding it. A little understanding goes a long way.

The one rider is the porn that is worrisome. Child porn, snuff, or the like. The stuff that is concerning from a social stand point.

It did bother me when I first found out about it and at one point I felt like he rejected me and went for porn instead. It hurt me. That's when I started watching. I just wanted satisfaction from it nothing more. Most of the time I thought about my boyfriend. I've been reading other questions posted on here and the replies and I know I can't tell him what to do and who to be and I know that he wouldn't be with me if he didn't want to be. I just don't think he understood how it made me feel. Our sex life is wonderful and I just thought since we both enjoyed porn it could spice things up. I'm not expecting this to change his way of thinking.

[CravenMorhead]

It did bother me when I first found out about it and at one point I felt like he rejected me and went for porn instead. It hurt me. That's when I started watching. I just wanted satisfaction from it nothing more. Most of the time I thought about my boyfriend. I've been reading other questions posted on here and the replies and I know I can't tell him what to do and who to be and I know that he wouldn't be with me if he didn't want to be. I just don't think he understood how it made me feel. Our sex life is wonderful and I just thought since we both enjoyed porn it could spice things up. I'm not expecting this to change his way of thinking.

That is a good attitude in my never really humble opinion. :-)

Men don't really understand or expect women to feel like they do. They see it one way and can't fathom how it could be construed other than a meaningless and fanciful passtime. Vice versa for woman wondering how men can think it is okay to watch it.

Just try to be there whenever he is doing it, just occasionally. Who knows what will happen. Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.

[RauschKR]

That is a good attitude in my never really humble opinion. :-)

Men don't really understand or expect women to feel like they do. They see it one way and can't fathom how it could be construed other than a meaningless and fanciful passtime. Vice versa for woman wondering how men can think it is okay to watch it.

Just try to be there whenever he is doing it, just occasionally. Who knows what will happen. Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.

I shall press on :) thanks for the input.