[FLGirl74]

I have a tough situation, the love of my life and I had to split. I don't know if I should walk away or fight. We are both parents and while he never married the mother of his children (he proposed, she drug her feet) they were together 12 years. She was argumentative and controlling. He was happy the first 1/2 of their relationship and then after the births of his children he was there more for the kids. They split in January of last year, but made another 6 month attempt which failed since then.

When she found out he had met me and was happy, she went ballistic, she messaged nasty things to me on Facebook (I have since blocked her) and then after getting a hold of his phone while he had stepped away, she got my number and the text messaging started. I never responded, hoping she'd get bored and go away and not wanting to incite her anger.

She physically attacked him and he filed a police report on her, but didn't press charges, he figured the first time was a warning and I felt he was right in that, as I'd have done the same had my ex done it, mostly because there are children involved. The police report had her on good behavior for about a week, then it got bad. She started giving him a really hard time about seeing his kids, she was grilling them about me and they are young. She finally pushed his hand after finding out we had an amazing weekend out of town and told him it was me or he gets back with her to see his kids. There is no legal custody agreement, which I've been pushing him to get since she is so volatile. He picked her after many tearful conversations where I told him I would never stand between him and his kids, begging him to get an attorney to make their custody agreement legal.

It's been a week. I'm still devastated beyond words and he's emailing me telling me he can't believe what he's done, he doesn't know how to fix it, he is in love with me but he loves his kids. He is so torn and it's tearing him apart. He's even emailed saying he is on the side of the road crying his eyes out asking what did he do.

He is still in his own home, he didn't move back in with her. He said as long as she knows I'm out of the picture, she is letting him see his kids whenever he wants and she is being nice.

I feel torn, I don't want to cause issues with him and his kids, but I love him and really want to be with him. We had an amazing relationship despite her medlings until the make a choice thing she pulled. It went Friday from him driving an hour to spend my 30 minute lunch with me because he missed me and I was taking my kids out of town for the weekend while he had his kids. To Sunday, we were over.

We talked after and both of us were crying. He just didn't know what to do but he knew he wanted me, but he couldn't give up his kids. I know his best step towards breaking free from her control is to get a legal custody agreement, if she withholds his kids he is able to go for full custody. He just doesn't have the money to retain an attorney.

She's insistent on checking his phone so all of our communication is through his business email. He's now asking to see me, he misses me, loves me and needs to hold me again. What should I do? This is a man who I have such a deep connection with, we are able to talk about anything with each other and we are able to calmly work through any issues (with the exception of this one) which is a change as we were both with very controlling people. We can't seem to stay away from each other. I cut contact no matter how bad it hurt, but he is emailing me begging my forgiveness, telling me this isn't what he wanted, he loves me, misses me, knows it was a bad decision but doesn't know how to get out of it. What in the world do I do??