[Gangster1]

So my ex-girlfriend started acting distant at the beginning of the month mostly because she started working more hours 10 a day, 6 times a week. Before this she was working normal 5 days 8 hours. During this period from April 5 to June 29th everything was going good, we would text each other most of the time in the morning nights, call would see each other about 2 to 3 times a week, wasn't perfect all the time we would have arguments but wasn't very serious (we weren't actually dating just seeing each other) the arguments were mostly about me not wanting something serious and her wanted to take it to the next level.

For the first 2 weeks of July we were seeing each other only once now, my insecurities started to creep in when she started to distant herself by her not replying to my texts quick, she would take hours to reply or not reply them at all, on the 4th of July she told me she would call me back and she didn't. Something she hadn't done before so that night I got drunk got home late deleted her from Facebook. Next day I thought I messed up by doing this sent her a message through Facebook telling her I was sorry for deleting her that I felt she wasn't caring anymore about me, and I care for her, loved her. Her reply was I was acting like a little kid, that she understand that I care for her she needs to take care her of her daughter that now she doesn't know about us and has no time. I requested her on fb that same day and until now hasn't accepted me. So I understand that, and then left her alone by giving her space not calling her too much maybe every 2 to 3 days just simple texts and short calls of five minutes. This happened on the second and third week.

Really felt like we weren't like before, felt more like a friendship. At this time she was kind enough to answer then and replying to my texts which it was cool but at the same time I felt not good about because I wasn't hearing what I wanted to hear. We have spoken through the phone about twice this month and the conversation are mostly about her working too much, not having time for herself, for her daughter, too much stress at work, being a single mom blah blah. Not what I want to hear. The most we wouldn't have any contact was 2 to 3 days but I been the one initiating all the contact all this month, and nothing on her part. I been trying to giving her space but I just couldn't go for more than 2 days with me looking for her.

So Saturday night which is her day off and Sunday I called her she didn't pick up either day. So that was it I had enough of this I thought to myself that if she really cared about me loved me like she would always tell me that even though she was working all these hours she could have at least find some time for me on her days off, send me a text here and there, that maybe she already has someone else or simply not interested.

I decided to do no contact for good to see if she cares and to feel better because at this time I'm going nuts about all these. So she calls me yesterday at 7 pm after 4 and half days of me not texting her or calling or having any contact between the two of us in all of these 3 months and this was the first time her calling when I was doing all the texting and calling. At this time I am feeling better about the situation thought this was it if she wasn't going to call this weekend, it was done for good. The conversation went good again her talking how stressful she's been, she can't handle working too much, not having time for herself and daughter that she's sorry she's been trying to call me all these time but either way she ends up being busy or falling asleep (sounds more like BS to me) come on if you care a little you can send a text here and there is guess. Again me not hearing what I want to hear for her to tell me to hang out on her day off or something that she wants to get back. She felt I didn't want to talk to her I'm like I do want talk to her and that I'm not like that with her (inside of me I didn't want to talk because of these goings on) so she ended the conversation saying she was going to take a shower than shower her daughter and then was going to call me back before she went to bed so we hung up.

Right away I knew she wasn't going to call me back which she didn't all night. So now I'm back to day one of no contact, feeling lost, anxious don't know what she wants, been trying to be patient about all this but I don't know what's going on. Is she playing mind games with me, or maybe even have someone else? Any advice on what to do, I know I'm going no contact again, don't know how to act if she calls again.

[tickle]

If you can possibly go back, punctuate and break your post down into paragraphs, you will get more responses quicker. It is just too overwhelming to read a post that is one long paragraph and not punctuated properly. I mean, how would you like to read and try to give a credible answer to a post such as yours. I got bored just looking at it, sorry! How old are you by the way ?

[talaniman]

Seems to me that you should just be honest with her, and yourself instead of playing this no contact game yourself. You want this busy working mom to give you more attention, and initiate more to reassure your insecurities. You are met by complaints and put offs.

That's really lousy communications for two people with conflicting schedules and hidden expectations. You both expect the other to read minds and make adjustments but that's impossible without honest communication.

While what you expect is reasonable to my mind, its not expressed very well at all. If two adults cannot compromise for each other, then there can be no resolution,in which case you tell her truthfully that you have to make NO Contact permanent, and go your separate ways.

Sorry guy, there is a difference between talking and listening, and talking past each other. If she makes no time for you,and there is no communications, then what's the point in wasting each others time further?

At least recognize you are not as high a priority as you make her, or as you want to be.

[Gangster1]

Some times I think she even has someone else because if she cares she would make some time at least to say hi or how are you? She doesn't do any of that. I been look for all this month. I finally gave in and 4 days after? Same s***... If you care about someone try to make sometime for them Imo

Right I need to communicate with her tell her what's going on with us. Friends only, or go something serious something I haven't done. You are so right about reading each other minds like one of the other is expecting one to say something about the relationship. I think I'm going to go for it. What ever she decides I'm cool with it

[talaniman]

You have to start somewhere. GoodLuck.

[joypulv]

All this texting so many people do is beyond me. What's it FOR?
This poor woman works extremely long hours AND has a daughter to care for! A lot of employees are fired on the spot for using their phones at work.
To top it all off, she made it bluntly clear that you weren't taking it to the next level that she wanted.
What do you EXPECT?? Find someone your own speed.

[Gangster1]

Yup I understand that that she works many hours and that's why I don't bother with her. I'm single don't have no kids can do anything I want really. I'm too much into this girl like I never felt like this before like If I really committ myself with it will work. I understand all that about her having all this stress and I really do. That's why I don't both her as much.

[tickle]

Yup i understand that that she works many hours and that's why I don't bother with her. I'm single don't have no kids can do anything I want really. I'm too much into this girl like I never felt like this before like If I really committ myself with it will work. I understand all that about her having all this stress and i really do. That's why I don't both her as much.

Then you already know the answer... dont bother her so much, lay off her so she can have her head together for her living and her family. She isn't into you and that is all there is to it. So lay back on your couch and play the video games, watch movies, join a dating site and get involved with someone else you can bug the butt off.

[LadySam]

"mostly about her working too much, not having time for herself, for her daughter, too much stress at work, being a single mom blah blah."

I can totally see where she is coming from if this statement conveys your general attitude to her responsibility to raise and provide for a child on her own.
Being a single parent is a tough job and I for one applaud her for doing it on her own without relying on others to do it for her.
But it does seem as if you two simply are not on the same page.
Talk to her if it settles things for you, then back off and leave her alone, she works hard, she is tired, then she goes home and works some more.
I'm not trying to be hard I just don't see much understanding for her situation, perhaps that is how she feels also.