[christyjjm]

I am a single mother of three, 11 years ago I started a friendship with a female co-worker that turned to an affair. She was married, she is a physician in our community. We grew close she loved my kids, but stayed married. Her husband became close to us and loved my kids as their own. They eventually had two kids of their own and I in turn loved their kids. Was even in the room when she had her last one and cut the cord.
Through time and stress of trying to maintain our relationship and her marriage things imploded. My kids went off to college and things begin to change.
She helped me financially even though I never asked she "wanted to take care of me" she loved me or so she said. Now, I am not sure what happened she no longer talks to me, she has told me that all we did was use her and she is going to be around people that don't treat her like crap.
Anyone who knows me would know that is not me at all, she won't let me see the kids one that practically lived with me, and when I have attempted to talk I am complete shot down.
I know I made mistakes, bottom line this was an affair, the horrible part is that we all loved each other at one point and now everyone is ripped apart. I see her in pics now hanging out with other people and she looks like she is fine. I can't seem to get out of this funk, I am hesrtbroken over her, the kids, and a friendship. I know staying in contact won't work, but how do I move on.
Her husband won't say anything he is a good guy, but his lifestyle is supported by her. I just want to scream that no one knows her like I do and why after all this time did I mean nothing and she can so easily just walk away.
I know I just need to move on, we are in the same field and we were "together" so long that people associate us together and now when they ask I have no idea what to say.
I know it wasn't all me but she will take no responsibility for the demise of our relationship leaving me to feel as though I have ruined it all and if I had just been nicer more apprecitive she would still be with me.
How do I go on and let her know I am OK too?