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shank117 · Jul 25, 2012, 12:21 PM

Im 20 I have only had 1 girlfriend in high school and it wasn't serious and it lasted only a few weeks and that was freshman year and when I was in junior high I joined the army national guard I had lost all my weight and was feeling good until I came back from basic and started eating the bad meals and then I couldn't pass the pt test it was my fault and I was generally discharged lets just say I sank into some deep deppression and myself confidence droped to zero and that was when I was 18 since then I've been rebuilding my life but yet my weight came back and I'm at a weight of 257 my confidence is comeing back but I'm a very shy person that has kind of avoided crowds my whole life and there is this girl at work she is skinny and short but has a wonderful personality I just cannot call out signs that if she likes me or not she keeps eye contact and laughs at what I say but this could just be a friendzone thing but the trouble is if I ask her out and she says no then it could just be a weird situation at work also in my current state I'm starting a diet plan and taking care of myself better and it seems she has noticed and has been talking to me more also a boost for my confidence is that an army recruiter has talked to me and want to work with me to get me back in and that has boosted hope for me and that hope has springed something inside of me to want to finnally ask this girl out but I don't know if I should now or wait and listen more... this is where I need your help if you can leave some comments for me

Homegirl 50 · Jul 25, 2012, 12:27 PM

You can ask her out as a friend and just get to know her. Talking to a girl will give you confidence.
You can even share with her that are considering going back to the military. This way she knows what's up.

Wondergirl · Jul 25, 2012, 12:33 PM

Ask her out for pie and coffee to chat about getting back into the military or spend time doing some innocent thing like going to the zoo or to an art museum -- not a date but just a few hours together chatting and sharing time doing something you both enjoy.

Robiel · Jul 25, 2012, 12:59 PM

What I want to advice you is that don't be afraid to ask a girl out. The last thing she can do is no. And you might say you will be embarrassed cause you are coo workers or class mate or what ever the reason might be. To tell you frankly 2 weeks ago I asked outmy class mate but unfortunately she said no cause sha has a boy friend. Well nothing happened to I'm still surving and we are still friends with. Every time you want to ask out a girl don't take it hard no is not a death penalty. To tell you the truth I got a lot of yes and no answers. But I'm not a quitter and girls also wants to be asked whether they say yes or no.

shank117 · Jul 26, 2012, 08:22 AM

Originally Posted by Robiel

What I wanna advice u is that don't be afraid to ask a girl out. The last thing she can do is no. And u might say u will be embarrassed cause u are coo workers or class mate or what ever the reason might be. To tell u frankly 2 weeks ago i asked outmy class mate but unfortunately she said no cause sha has a boy friend. Well nothing happend to I'm still surving and we are still friends with. Everytime u wanna ask out a girl don't take it hard no is not a death penalty. To tell u the truth I got a lot of yes and no answers. But I'm not a quitter and girls also wants to be asked whether they say yes or no.

The only problem is I'm kind of a bigger person not overly big but 257 pounds and that kind of hinders me should I take a week to look for signs??

Homegirl 50 · Jul 26, 2012, 08:27 AM

Just ask her out. You snooze you loose. What kind of signs would you be looking for?

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2012, 08:45 AM

One of my favorite guys is about 6'3" and 300-some pounds with flaming red hair. (He stands out in a crowd!) Of course, his size is noticeable, but he is such a sweet, friendly guy who really cares about others, so after the first two minutes, you stop thinking about what a giant he is.

Like I would tell anyone, be clean, wear clean clothes, have fresh breath, comb your hair, and care about the other person more than about yourself.

shank117 · Jul 26, 2012, 09:19 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Just ask her out. You snooze you loose. What kind of signs would you be looking for?

I don't know I read an article about looking for her to smile a certain way to watch her to see if she tries to glance at me when I'm not looking her direction just stuff like that also is it a good thing that she remembers all the stuff I tell her and repeats it to others exactly the way I said it( girls have never don't this before) I don't want to mistake this as her just listening cause most girls I've tried to talk to just say uh huh and act like they are listening until I finish but I still listen to them and if I ask her out is asking her if she wants to see a movie with me too cliché or should I say something deeper

Homegirl 50 · Jul 26, 2012, 09:42 PM

Your post are really hard to follow, as you don't use any punctuations; periods or commas. I don't know where one sentence ends and another begins or what your saying for that matter.
Just ask her out. Don't play games looking for signs or seeing if they are really listening to you. Just ask her out. She will either say yes or no.

shank117 · Jul 26, 2012, 10:31 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Your post are really hard to follow, as you don't use any punctuations; periods or commas. I don't know where one sentence ends and another begins or what your saying for that matter.
Just ask her out. Don't play games looking for signs or seeing if they are really listening to you. Just ask her out. She will either say yes or no.

Sorry about the punctuation. I just trying to type what I'm thinking. I guess though I should just ask her out but I'm afraid that if I ask her and she says no it would create an akward stituation at work. I work in retail at a sports and outdoors store called Academy. I have to help her stock shelfs all the time and she ask for my help because I'm taller and she is kind of short. If she says no then it could just be akward when my boss tells me to stock shelves with her. But I feel a real connection with her. I have not asked a girl out since freshman year in high school when I was 15. I have been down on myself and have told myself I should wait until after college to date. My family has allways told me that I shouldn't get a girl pregnant until after college so I've waited and waited and have been passing by girl after girl with no feelings but this one just caught me offguard that I like here for who she is not her body. Its not about sex at all in my mind its something deeper that I feel.

Wondergirl · Jul 26, 2012, 10:40 PM

In the olden days when Richard II was king and I was your age, a date was just a date, not a commitment for love everlasting. Rather than go to a movie (like a DATE), why not do what some of us suggested earlier -- go out for coffee like friends or go to a museum for a few hours. Do you have a car and could pick her up, or could she meet you there -- less like a date then if she meets you there.

shank117 · Jul 26, 2012, 11:41 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

In the olden days when Richard II was king and I was your age, a date was just a date, not a commitment for love everlasting. Rather than go to a movie (like a DATE), why not do what some of us suggested earlier -- go out for coffee like friends or go to a museum for a few hours. Do you have a car and could pick her up, or could she meet you there -- less like a date then if she meets you there.

I have a truck and she has a truck the trouble is that we are both from a rural area so not much in the way of coffee and entertainment unless you want to go within 100 yards of where we work but I see your points

Homegirl 50 · Jul 27, 2012, 08:30 AM

Originally Posted by shank117

Sorry about the punctuation. I just trying to type what I'm thinking. I guess though i should just ask her out but im afraid that if i ask her and she says no it would create an awkward situation at work. I work in retail at a sports and outdoors store called Academy. I have to help her stock shelfs all the time and she ask for my help because im taller and she is kinda short. If she says no then it could just be awkward when my boss tells me to stock shelves with her. But i feel a real connection with her. I have not asked a girl out since freshman year in high school when i was 15. I have been down on myself and have told myself i should wait until after college to date. My family has always told me that i shouldn't get a girl pregnant until after college so ive waited and waited and have been passing by girl after girl with no feelings but this one just caught me offguard that i like here for who she is not her body. Its not about sex at all in my mind its something deeper that i feel.

Well you probably don't want to get a girl pregnant until you either marry her or can support a child.
Dating co wokers can be messy which is why a lot of places don't allow it.
If you ask her out and she says no, it's no big deal. It won't make things awkward. You asking her out on a date, not marriage.

shank117 · Jul 27, 2012, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Well you probably don't want to get a girl pregnant until you either marry her or can support a child.
Dating co wokers can be messy which is why a lot of places don't allow it.
If you ask her out and she says no, it's no big deal. It won't make things awkward. You asking her out on a date, not marriage.

Thank you and your right I don't want her pregnant. I think I'm thinking too much but hard not to because I have a week until I have a chance to see her.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 27, 2012, 04:37 PM

Yep, you're thinking too much.
Just ask her.

shank117 · Aug 16, 2012, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Yep, you're thinking too much.
Just ask her.

OK.. I asked her out. Well I told her that I thought she was a really cool person and that I would like to know more about her. I also asked her if she wanted to see a movie with me sometime. She said yes. And I asked her if I could have her number. She said yes. I made it kind of casual when I asked her. She also told me that she is real busy this week and I asked her about the following week. She said that would be better. First off I want to thank all of you for helping me get the gutwrenching courage to ask her. Now I face a problem. How should a first date go? Should I just keep it causal?

Homegirl 50 · Aug 16, 2012, 07:51 PM

Keep it casual, don't over think it. Just have fun.
Good luck

Fr_Chuck · Aug 16, 2012, 07:59 PM

And you need a better self image, guess what after I lost my wife and before I meet and married Lady Toni, I was about mid 40's, with one blind eye, a limp and weigh maybe 250.
Guess what I had a date ( sometimes two different ones) every weekend. I dated 20ish age girls, to may age ladies. Do you know why? Because I asked them to go somewhere, McDonalds, Dairy Queen, roller skate, what ever there was in the small town I lived in.

Dating is and was a matter of numbers, to date you have to ask, some ladies will say yes, some will say no. some that say yes will not do a second date, some you don't want to do a second date.