[lunasol91]

I have been with my boyfriend for two years, and he recently brought up the fact that I have never made the first move and I never show affection to him. We are both 21, and were "friends with benefits" for a long time before we started dating. During that time, I did try to kiss him and he shot me down, I later found out it was because he had been with another girl earlier that day. I knew he was hooking up with other girls while we were friends with benefits because he would tell me, and it always hurt my feelings because I felt that he was choosing other girls over me. I always felt there was something wrong with me, like the other girls were prettier, smarter, funner, etc. than I was. When we finally started dating, he was a great boyfriend and always showed affection, told me I'm beautiful, and was great. He recently told me he isn't going to try in our relationship anymore because I have never made the first move on him, and it makes him feel like I don't love, or even like him. I have never even tried to hold his hand before, and I never hug or cuddle with him. He always has to do everything. I am sexually attracted to him, and I want to have sex with him, or kiss him, my brain just won't let me. I feel horrible and don't know why I can't show him affection. I freeze up and get nervous when I try to even kiss him, and can't do it. I am very comfortable around him, and I love him, but I just can't move forward and try to show more affection. I hate that I can't make the first move, and just need some advice on why I feel this way or how I could grow to feel more comfortable to try to show him affection.