[FakeTails]

Ok well I'll try to give as many details as I can here so I don't have to go back and change anything or have to tell anything else.

Ok so to start, I'm a 16 year old boy, I'll be 17 in 10 days. She's 16, she will be 17 in May next year.

Ok so the girl I like, she lives next door to me weekly, and every other week she lives at her moms, her moms is only like 10 miles away. So I get to see her a lot, we recently started becoming really close friends because we both figured out at the same time that we have a lot in common. But I've liked her since I met her like a year and a half ago. Her brother is my best friend and her mom loves me, her dad doesn't even know me because he doesn't like meeting people. I've told her brother that I like her and he approves of it and thinks I'd be the best boyfriend for her so far, and I'm telling her mom about it this Friday.

So here the beginning of why it's tricky to me, She has a boyfriend. She's had him for two years, they've broken up five times, twice because he cheated (great guy right?) Their last break up was three weeks ago. So I'm honestly just hoping that they break up again soon and I won't have to do anything. Hes been kicked out of his house already because he was doing a lot of things he shouldn't have been, he lies to her like seriously every day, he's not the smartest person in the world. But her mom like seriously hates the guy because everything he's done to her, and her dad is the same way, the only reason they still let them go out is because they don't want to see their daughter in pain because of them.

But yeah I think you see my question here, what should I do?

I plan to just keep waiting for now but I've honestly never loved someone as much as I do her, we talk every day, we are great friends, and her family (besides her dad) loves me. So yeah tell me what you think, Internet.

[lula_fifi]

Well her current boyfriend does sound like quite a jerk! I say that you tell her how you feel, you seem to be close and, even if she doesn't say that she likes you back, she may even be encouraged to break up with him!

This girl may be trying to find a way out of this relationship; breaking up five times doesn't really make the relationship seem reliable. He has also cheated on her, one reason alone why they should break up, and also, if her parents hate him, then there may not be a civil way for them to get on in later years.

My suggestion; tell her how you feel!

[FakeTails]

Well her current boyfriend does sound like quite a jerk! I say that you tell her how you feel, you seem to be close and, even if she doesn't say that she likes you back, she may even be encouraged to break up with him!

This girl may be trying to find a way out of this relationship; breaking up five times doesn't really make the relationship seem reliable. He has also cheated on her, one reason alone why they should break up, and also, if her parents hate him, then there may not be a civil way for them to get on in later years.

My suggestion; tell her how you feel!

I'm just scared that it might be too soon, or just the wrong timing all over, I know that she really loves him(or at least told me she did) and she likes to spend time with him, and I'd feel bad if I was the reason the broke up again. I mean I love her with all my heart, so much that everything that use to bother me now just doesn't, I think about her and just start smiling. But I don't know if she feels the same and in the least I'm waiting till I talk to her mom this week, I really want her opinion on the situation. I think it's definitely too early into us becoming close friends for me to say anything yet though.

[Mike5462]

Don't ask her out just yet. Just tell her that she deserves better. Keep telling her that. Take her out to dinner. Her boyfriend is a jerk anyway. Show her how a man supposed to treat a women. Best of luck to you.

[LynseyJane]

Say something to her, tell her how you feel about her, but don't say too much, ask her how she really feels about her boyfriend,does she have any idea that you like her A lot?

[Enigma1999]

Yes her boyfriend IS an idiot, however, she picked him. I don't have empathy for someone who continues to accept this behavior in their lives...

That being said... no. You say NOTHING at this time. Just keep being her friend. Wait to see what happens with him. Again, he sounds like a tool, but it IS her boyfriend...

[BethVader]

As much as you like this girl, you are only 17 and would be best served just being her friend and focusing your energy on your studies. Take it from someone who thought relationships were of all importance at the age, they are NOT.
The first few relationships are more or less trial-runs for the real adult relationships you will have later in life.
And think about it this way, when you do get to be in your mid-twenties, you're going to get a way better quality girl if she is in college (or graduated) and you have a solid degree and a good job too. Focus on school and what you want to do with your life, and chances are that in the pursuit of what you are interested in, you will meet a girl who shares your interests as well.
Good luck to you. Remember ~ High School relationships won't matter at all 10 years from now, but what you do with your education will.

[talaniman]

Put those feeling aside and say nothing because confessing love to a female who is in a shaky troubled relationships a recipe for trouble BIG TIME. Respect her relationship, bad as it is, and don't see her EVERY day. That's a good way to be in the friend zone.

Leave her mom out of this as YOUR mom,or dad would be a better choice to get advice and ideas from, but NOT her mom. I understand those intense feelings, but the last thing you need is to woo a hurt female into a rebound, or cheating situation. Or cause more confusion than she has already, and never ignore the fact that this is the choice she made.

That's the most telling part of this. The main fact, despite his behavior, or character, and opposition by everyone, they have been together for two years off and on. Even if she did dump him, chances are she will go back to him. Just my opinion, based on experience. Naw guy,I think you back up to a safer distance, and do your own thing, and find another more available female for now instead of playing the waiting game.

Chances are, she will need a lot of time healing from two years with this bum... if they break up permanently. Sucks when the first love hits you, and she isn't available I know. But play this one smart, because sloppy will break your heart.

[FakeTails]

As much as you like this girl, you are only 17 and would be best served just being her friend and focusing your energy on your studies. Take it from someone who thought relationships were of all importance at the age, they are NOT.
The first few relationships are more or less trial-runs for the real adult relationships you will have later in life.
And think about it this way, when you do get to be in your mid-twenties, you're gonna get a way better quality girl if she is in college (or graduated) and you have a solid degree and a good job too. Focus on school and what you want to do with your life, and chances are that in the pursuit of what you are interested in, you will meet a girl who shares your interests as well.
Good luck to you. Remember ~ High School relationships won't matter at all 10 years from now, but what you do with your education will.

Well actually my parents met when they were 17 and have been happily married for 25 years now, so you can't lay a statement saying that it doesn't matter for everyone. And as for my studies, I'm homeschooled. My work day is about a hour long.

Put those feeling aside and say nothing because confessing love to a female who is in a shaky troubled relationships a recipe for trouble BIG TIME. Respect her relationship, bad as it is, and don't see her EVERY day. Thats a good way to be in the friend zone.

Leave her mom out of this as YOUR mom,or dad would be a better choice to get advice and ideas from, but NOT her mom. I understand those intense feelings, but the last thing you need is to woo a hurt female into a rebound, or cheating situation. Or cause more confusion than she has already, and never ignore the fact that this is the choice she made.

Thats the most telling part of this. The main fact, despite his behavior, or character, and opposition by everyone, they have been together for two years off and on. Even if she did dump him, chances are she will go back to him. Just my opinion, based on experience. Naw guy,I think you back up to a safer distance, and do your own thing, and find another more available female for now instead of playing the waiting game.

Chances are, she will need a lot of time healing from two years with this bum..............if they break up permanently. Sucks when the first love hits you, and she isn't available I know. But play this one smart, because sloppy will break your heart.

I already have planned to set the feelings aside till they break up because it's the right thing to do, and as for telling her mom, I'm still going to do that, I've already told both my parents but they just don't have much advice for me, most they've told me is "good Luck" and trust me I know not to be a rebound, but what you may not think of is the fact that actually a lot of rebounds for a lot of people can last a lifetime. I will be stepping back from acting how I was though even though I plan to either have her or at least be her best friend, we have so much in common that I at least want to know her a long time if not be with her.

[talaniman]

Is she home schooled as well?

[FakeTails]

Is she home schooled as well?

No she is not sadly, I met her because she lives next door to me. She's public schooled.

[talaniman]

How long have you been friends,and neighbors? Sorry for the questions, just a clearer picture is the goal. While you are right to believe anything can happen, it may be unrealistic to bet the bank on it. Rebounds tend to last only as long as the healing party needs it, while the one who is happy gets disapointed and hurt, and you have a lot more time on your hands, and she has many more options than you do.

While you are "in love", never assume her feelings are the same, they are not now, at least see the obstaclesof your position,especially since you feel the need to involve her family in your hopeful romance.

Is it possible you are not American? Or that your own parents are letting you learn a life lesson about love and romance on your own? Correct me if I'm wrong but have you ever dated?

[FakeTails]

How long have you been friends,and neighbors?? Sorry for the questions, just a clearer picture is the goal. While you are right to believe anything can happen, it may be unrealistic to bet the bank on it. Rebounds tend to last only as long as the healing party needs it, while the one who is happy gets disapointed and hurt, and you have a lot more time on your hands, and she has many more options than you do.

While you are "in love", never assume her feelings are the same, they are not now, at least see the obstaclesof your position,especially since you feel the need to involve her family in your hopeful romance.

Is it possible you are not American? Or that your own parents are letting you learn a life lesson about love and romance on your own? Correct me if I'm wrong but have you ever dated?

We've known each other for a year and a half, we've been neighbors for five years (didn't know she lived there till last year) and we've been friends for about 10 months now, and really good friends for about a month or two now. And I know rebounds are not always (hardly at all) successful, I was just pointing it out.

And I do not assume she loves me too at all, and I don't feel the need to involve her family but I love her family and they are cool and I would like to know her moms opinion.

And no I'm from the USA, I live there still. And yes this will be my first girlfriend being homeschooled my whole life I couldn't get out much.

[talaniman]

Don't make impulsive decision based on feelings,and hardly any facts. That's a good way to be stuck,and miserable. And I feel talking to her mom will poison this friendship, as its like going behind her back, instead of through her first, but that's a western point of view.

[FakeTails]

Don't make impulsive decision based on feelings,and hardly any facts. Thats a good way to be stuck,and miserable. And I feel talking to her mom will poison this friendship, as its like going behind her back, instead of thru her first, but thats a western point of view.

Well please tell me how you think it'll poison it, I'm always up for listening to more reasons, and friendship with her mom or with her? And going through her at this moment would be highly disateres.

[talaniman]

Well have you thought what this girl will think about you asking for advice about winning her heart from her mom who hates the guy she loves??

[BethVader]

FAKETAILS: Well actually my parents met when they were 17 and have been happily married for 25 years now, so you can't lay a statement saying that it doesn't matter for everyone.

Your parents are in the vast MINORITY. Good for them, but not a good example of real life.

[FakeTails]

Well have you thought what this girl will think about you asking for advice about winning her heart from her mom who hates the guy she loves???

I'm not going to be asking her for advice to win her daughters heart, I'm going to be asking her weather she thinks it's a good idea or not, and If she thinks I'd even be good for her. I have no intention for asking for advice to win her daughter over.

[JudyKayTee]

I'm not going to be asking her for advice to win her daughters heart, I'm going to be asking her weather she thinks it's a good idea or not, and If she thinks I'd even be good for her. I have no intention for asking for advice to win her daughter over.

This is another case of someone coming on, asking a question and then arguing with the advice.

Your parents are very far out of the norm, by the way. If you want statistics about young relationships I'm sure someone has them and will share.

I see two guaranteed ways to drive this girl out of your life: (1) Talk to her mother about her, her boyfriend, her and her boyfriend, you and her; (2) Talk to her about what a loser her boyfriend is. Guarantee she will defend him. Guarantee she will decide you're the meddling loser. If her relationship with "the boyfriend" ends tomorrow she still will want no part of you.

In my teens - and I'm sure I'm not the exception - I stayed in relationships because everyone hated "him" and so I defended him.

I'm sure you're home schooled for a reason but my concern always remains the same - not necessarily a well rounded education and USUALLY no interaction with peers.

[FakeTails]

This is another case of someone coming on, asking a question and then arguing with the advice.

Your parents are very far out of the norm, by the way. If you want statistics about young relationships I'm sure someone has them and will share.

I see two guaranteed ways to drive this girl out of your life: (1) Talk to her mother about her, her boyfriend, her and her boyfriend, you and her; (2) Talk to her about what a loser her boyfriend is. Guarantee she will defend him. Guarantee she will decide you're the meddling loser. If her relationship with "the boyfriend" ends tomorrow she still will want no part of you.

In my teens - and I'm sure I'm not the exceptions - I stayed in relationships because everyone hated "him" and so I defended him.

I'm sure you're home schooled for a reason but my concern always remains the same - not necessarily a well rounded education and USUALLY no interaction with peers.

All right, well first off. I'm not arguing with all the advice, I'm purely showing my point and what I think.

And I know my parents are deffintally not good examples of a everyday couple, nor would I or do I live by their example, I was simply pointing out that yes it can happen.

And I haven't even totally decided what I'll say to her mon yet about anything, and if it comes down to I have not made my Decission by then I have another matter I need to discuss with her that I can use instead. And I am not going to medle in their relationship, seeing how I am her boyfriends friend too I'm not planing on bashing him, I will wait till something happens on its own.

And yes I know the generally teenaged like to "fight the power" and defend what everyone else considers wrong, which again is why I don't plan to say anything about him being wrong.

And well your opinion on homeschooling is your opinion, I don't see the point to tell you otherwise since you seem to be set in your ways. But one thing you are right about is that; yes there is little to no social interaction unless you make the effort to meet people yourself.