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beth1031 · Jul 22, 2012, 10:42 AM

My 17 year old son wants to move in with me to finish up his senior year of high school. There has never been a court ordered custody arrangement. My son and I have both pleaded with his mother to let him move in. She is absolutely against it. The only reason why she says no is because she thinks he will miss out on his senior prom (which he wasn't planning on attending) and miss out on walking for graduation. Even though he will do that at his new school. He has lived his mother primarily for his whole life and has always come for visits as much as he could. I live about 2 hours from his mothers. I am financially capable of caring for him. There is no reason for his mom to just say no. Can he choose to move in with me without her permission as there is no custody arrangement through the court? We have always had our own private arrangement. Any answers would be helpful!

Fr_Chuck · Jul 22, 2012, 10:56 AM

Are you on the birth certificate?

Why after living his entire life in this place and going to this school does he want to change.
I wonder for his motive and yours? Does he believe your rules will be less ?

Sorry I see plenty of reason for mom to say no, she has raised him all this time and now you want to take him at the last year of school ?

Even if he could I would expect mother to take you to court then, get formal custody, make him move back and in some states ( if in the US) make you pay formal child support going back many years. If not allowed for back at least for current.

Will need to hear more why this is a good idea before I could agree to this myself.

beth1031 · Jul 22, 2012, 11:53 AM

Yes I am on the birth certificate. Maybe in my question it sounds like I have had no part in raising him. But I assure you that is not true. I have never missed a child support payment which is $400 a month. I also pick him up every other weekend and he spends his school breaks with me. He is with me all summer. He absolutely hates his school. His friends have all moved as well. He wants to move so he can switch to a better school and attend college while still in high school. Which can be done. We already went to the college and spoke with a counselor. There is also no work where he lives as it is a small town. He already has a job lined up at a store that is right down the street from my home. He has also stated that he wants to move so he can spend more time with his sister ( my daughter). I am more strict than his mother when it comes to school and grades. So he doesn't want to move in with me because he thinks he will be able to do whatever he wants. He simply just wants to be with me and his sister is all.

ScottGem · Jul 22, 2012, 11:57 AM

You say there is no custody agreement, then you say you never missed a child support payment. Well child support is paid by the NON CUSTODIAL PARENT to the CUSTODIAL PARENT. So custody has been established.

If you want him to move in with you, you have to go to court for a modification.

beth1031 · Jul 22, 2012, 12:03 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You say there is no custody agreement, then you say you never missed a child support payment. Well child support is paid by the NON CUSTODIAL PARENT to the CUSTODIAL PARENT. So custody has been established.

If you want him to move in with you, you have to go to court for a modification.

The child support payment is also a private agreement between me and his mother. The courts have never been involved in any way. So even if the courts have never been involved she still has primary custody? Im a little confused about this.

ScottGem · Jul 22, 2012, 12:06 PM

Yep. Even if this was a private agreement (which is a mistake IMHO), its still an enforceable agreement.

beth1031 · Jul 22, 2012, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Yep. Even if this was a private agreement (which is a mistake IMHO), its still an enforceable agreement.

Well thanks for your quick response. I guess ill be contacting the courts soon.