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cliffo1990 · Jul 21, 2012, 04:53 PM

My wife and have been together ten years and have three kids. Lately she feels I'm not attracted to her and I'm afraid she wants more attention than I know how to give. I've. Never been the jealous type but lately I find myself that way. I love her dearly and need her more than ever yet I don't think telling her is good enough. What do I do.

My wife feels like she's not hot.I. think so but she never gives me attention so how do I return it.

Wondergirl · Jul 21, 2012, 05:07 PM

You play up to her mind and her emotions. Help her clear off the table and clean up the kitchen (ask her what she wants you to do and how to do it). Hold her hand when you're walking together and give her a loving smile now and then. Ask her how her day was and LISTEN to what she says and ask good questions.

That's just for a start. There's more.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 21, 2012, 05:08 PM

Is it here you want to feel better or is it you that is wanting more attention.

Do you show it and tell her not expecting anything in return ? Have you been to couples counseling to learn to communicate how you feel better ?

lovecup84 · Jul 21, 2012, 05:16 PM

Find out what her interests are and do that for her. Dates are always good and gives you the chance to get away from the kids for a while. Take her to get pampered like nails, hair, massage. And do exciting things with her like vacation. Little things always has the biggest reaction.

JudyKayTee · Jul 22, 2012, 05:49 AM

Originally Posted by lovecup84

find out what her interests are and do that for her. Dates are always good and gives you the chance to get away from the kids for a while. take her to get pampered like nails, hair, massage. and do exciting things with her like vacation. little things always has the biggest reaction.

She wants more attention from him - that doesn't involve spending money, doing exciting things.

If MY husband suggested I get my hair and nails done I'd wonder what's wrong with my hair and nails now. She wants attention from her husband, not from her hairdresser, manicurist, masseuse.

It's the every day attention (which Wondergirl addressed) that I find means the most to me - the hug when we pass each other, clearing off the table, joining me for a cup of coffee, listening to me.

joypulv · Jul 22, 2012, 05:50 AM

Pat her on the butt when she walks by in the house and say hey cutie.
Tell her to turn around so you can see the new outfit she's wearing.
Kiss her on the neck at the sink or dishwasher, with a big long hug.
Loudly ask the kids if they think their mom is just as gorgeous as you think she is.
Splurge on a babysitter so you can go out, and not to a movie either, someplace where you can sweet talk her, like over dinner. And tell the babysitter you pay extra for cleaning the bathrooms, doing laundry, whatever needs it.
Ask her to dance with you in the kitchen and then dance all through the house and outside.
Use your imagination for the next 1,000 ideas