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KT flower · Jul 18, 2012, 06:51 PM

I am a single mom of a 2 yr old. I get no child support and no assistance from the state. The "donner" and I were in a relationship but no longer together. D9nner has not seen my child since he was 6 months old. Donner is not legally attached in any way name is'nt even on birth certificate. His own doing. How can I pursue having him sign away his rights and do I even need to do that at this point? Thinking about future

kcomissiong · Jul 18, 2012, 06:55 PM

Basically you can't. First, he has never legally established his rights so there is nothing to terminate. Second, even if he had, a court will not terminate his rights unless you are married and your spouse wants to adopt, or he is an incredible danger to your child. They are not in the business of leaving children legally fatherless.

KT flower · Jul 18, 2012, 07:00 PM

Thanks that makes sense! I just want to make sure I cover all my bases and protect my child. I have had some legal counsel and was told after the child's 2nd birthday and the dad has'nt established any parental rights it can be harder for him to do so. As more time passes. Any thoughts on this?

kcomissiong · Jul 18, 2012, 07:08 PM

All it takes to establish parental rights is a court ordered DNA test. The time doesn't affect his right to petition to legally establish his paternity. Of course, getting any kind of custody will be much more difficult the longer that he is not involved.

Until paternity is legally established, you hold the cards.

Synnen · Jul 18, 2012, 08:29 PM

I'd also like to point out that you need to erase the term "donor" from your vocabulary.

You had sex with this person. You were in a relationship with this person.

And you have to explain this person to your child. You don't explain it as a "donor", even when not talking to the child. The child WILL pick up on that word and attitude.

A sperm donor donates sperm through a clinic. NOT through consensual sex. You may refer to him as the child's biological father, as his birthfather, as your ex---but NOT as a "donor", because he's NOT.

And if you DO have to go to court and it slips, it will look bad on you as well--it could count as alienation, and a judge could use it against you if the biological father wants visitation or custody down the road.

KT flower · Jul 19, 2012, 05:31 PM

I appreciate your pointing the "donor" term out as negative and yes down the road something's will have to be addressed as far as who his bio logical father is. Obviously any one who is a single parent has been through some emotional turmoil. All the facts don't need to be disclosed on here and the "doner choose to be just that as he knew what he was doin and was'nt man enough to be real. So the "doner" was just that and I have a wonderful child that I love. Thanks again for stating your opinion.