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1n-L0v3 · Mar 3, 2007, 04:14 PM

Hi me and My fiancé Have been trying for a baby for 5months and still haven't got pregnant!
I am now 7days late my period and my period has been regular...
I Have been having many different symptoms... e.g. Headaches... Tender boobs and nipples always seem to be errect:rolleyes:... the occasional stomach cramps every so offten through the day and during sex!. also through the day sudden outbursts of feeling sick! This isn't normal at all! And also my I'm begginig to grow out of my clothes! And I can't breath in!
But really trying not to get my hopes high just to be let down!
I would really appreciate it if you have any views on it if you could respond!
:) Thank you :)

J_9 · Mar 3, 2007, 04:15 PM

What is your age? Age plays an important role in hormonal balances and imbalances that could be contributing to this.

1n-L0v3 · Mar 3, 2007, 04:16 PM

I am 17 years old!

J_9 · Mar 3, 2007, 04:22 PM

Okay, you are 17 and trying for a baby? Can I just ask why?

Why in the prime of your life would you want your total and complete independence taken away from you?

Do you have a fantastic job that will pay for everything that an infant requires?

Does that job provide medical insurance that will cover you and then the baby when it is born?

I don't mean to sound condiscending, I have 2 children around your age myself. But do you really realize what exactly it takes to raise a child? Especially if you are not married?

1n-L0v3 · Mar 3, 2007, 04:26 PM

Yeh I do have a good job so does my fiancé! We live together have our own place!
We are very happy in our lifes! We feel that a baby will complete us! I live in the united Kingdom so I don't need insurance... we have NHS!
I have experience in working with children I have worked in children's nurserys etc... and have younger brothers && sisters that I cared for!

J_9 · Mar 3, 2007, 04:33 PM

Okay, okay, just checking.

Now, understand that a baby will not complete you. Quite honestly a baby will tear you apart unless you are very strong in your relationship. Trust me, I have had 4 babies.

That baby will get up sick in the middle of the night, chances are you will be up with that crying baby alone. Again trust me. I already know what you are going to say. "But he will get up, he said he would help in any way necessary." To be honest, you don't know until that day comes. My husband said the same things.

Just because you have experience with children and worked in nurseries does not necessarily mean you are ready to be a mother. Just because you have younger brothers and sisters does not mean you are ready.

I am the oldest child of 3. I have a younger sister and a yonger brother. I was a licensed preschool teacher of children between the ages of 18 months to 4 years old. All of this prior to having my first child at the age of 22. I was not ready.

Oh, yeah, you are mature for your age. Well, I thought I was too. And I was, until that baby was sick in the middle of the night and stayed up for 3 days straight crying. I could not cope, and most likely neither will you.

1n-L0v3 · Mar 3, 2007, 04:40 PM

I apreciate What you are saying me and my fiancé are very strong and determined that every step we will do together!. I have always wanted children... and he was the first to consider trying for a baby! I know in myself we are strong enough to bring up a child! A lot younger and imature girls&&boys have done it on there own!

I asked if my syptoms (above) were in you'r experience signs of being pregnant please can you give me your veiws!
Thank you

J_9 · Mar 3, 2007, 04:44 PM

It's possible, but could be due to your tender age. Pregnancy symptoms are much the same as premenstral symptoms. Get a pregnancy test and take it in the morning.

curlybenswife · Mar 3, 2007, 04:46 PM

"runs around the room screaming NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO"

Im sorry sweetheart but your crazy I turned 30 last month and I have a 18 month old baby and I have to tell you nothing in the world will prepare you for your life to be turned upside down the way it will be, unless of course you have your parents at hand that will take care of baby when you want to go out and get drunk etc because I'm being honest when I say you will give up everything, from buying that top you saw yesterday on your lunch break to nipping out for take away because you can't be arsed to cook every bit of spare cash disappears you will spend the first 3 months with sleep deprivation and arguing like hell with your other half then the next three months having little one scream because its teething don't get me wrong I would'nt change my life but I have 13 years on you and even now I wonder if we were ever truly ready.
Take a step back poppet and really look at what you are playing with its not just your life.

1n-L0v3 · Mar 3, 2007, 04:54 PM

I have lived my life! Don't even want to go out and get drunk! I haven't drank alcohol since we decided to start trying! I am taking folic acid... when I am out shopping I am not looking at clothes for myself... we find ourselves looking more at baby clothes saving up everypenny for the child! I have a lot of family and friends that will support me... also a very close family friend that is a midwife!
What in your veiws do my symptoms look like?
Thank you

J_9 · Mar 3, 2007, 04:57 PM

Read my answers above.

You have lived your life? Funny, I am 42 and have only started to live mine because I have had to give it all up for my children.

That statement alone shows how you are not yet ready for a child.

curlybenswife · Mar 3, 2007, 05:00 PM

Honestly I'm no dr poppet I can't say but your bodys cycle changes a lot as you get older so who knows do a test.

As for having family etc around well aren't you the lucky one so when post natel depression sets in and you do nothing but cry because you don't even have time to wash your own hair you can hand the little bundle over to someone else that just about sums up every teenager in bloody britain that I see pushing a pram it grieves me something chronic I have to tell you its like those youngsters that have baby's for a fashion excessory gggrrrrrr.

I sure hope you get to prove the world wrong and don't get the finger pointed at you as so many do.

1n-L0v3 · Mar 3, 2007, 05:02 PM

Well we will prove you Wrong!

J_9 · Mar 3, 2007, 05:02 PM

I suppose she has not read the many other threads here about how the boy was going to support her, but when the times got rough he wanted to give up his rights.

J_9 · Mar 3, 2007, 05:03 PM

Originally Posted by 1n-L0v3

Well we will prove you Wrong!!

Then prove it and do the right thing by that innocent human and get married first. It will be harder for him to leave when the times get tough if you get married first.

curlybenswife · Mar 3, 2007, 05:04 PM

Just don't become a sheep like all the other idiots in this country your better than that a child is not the answer to everything or anything it is a life time commitment.

Just a thought but have you spoken to your mum?? What did she say

JoeCanada76 · Mar 3, 2007, 05:21 PM

Okay, I am going to have a different approach here. It might not be popular. You could be very well be pregnant. Now a days it is different and peoples views on raising children and what age you should be has changed dramitically. There was a time like great grandparents started having children when they were 16.

Now I agree you have not experienced life so far. There is so much more. I personally wanted to start having children at 25 but I finally had my first child at 30. It is a good age.

So you are already living with your fiancé and want to start a family. What you need to do now, instead of getting into the details of whether it is a good age now or not is not really the point.

The point right now is that you could be pregnant and you need to get a pregnancy test, because acting responsible now is a must. If your pregnant you need to start prenatals right away and start the process of pregnancy counseling which is done through the doctors. Screening blood tests and the works to make sure everything is a okay.

Good luck with everything and let us know how everything works out. Get the test done is the first step, remember to buy more then one and take the test in the morning.

Joe

J_9 · Mar 3, 2007, 05:35 PM

Joe, with all due respect, yes our ancestors were having babies at 16, 13 years of age even. But that was a long time ago, and times they have a changed since then. That was when there was no daycare, no health insurance, one room schoolhouses. That was when we did not need two income families and crime was nil. It was so long ago and different day in age that it is not necessary to bring it up.

We are different today, psychologically, physiologically, and physically.

I just hope all works out for her. She has a tough road to go if she remains on this course.

JoeCanada76 · Mar 3, 2007, 06:22 PM

With all due respect Janine. This lady was asking about the possibility of her being pregnant and what to do now. The only advice needed really is to find out right away whether she is pregnant or not. Then if she is she can take the steps to make sure the baby has the healthiest start in life. Counseling and blood work. I hope you understand this is the most important point that needs to be made right now. She did not need a lecture. She needed advice on whether she could be pregnant and what steps to take if she is and how to find out.

Hope you understand my point of view here but many people have children at 17 and 18 and depending on the maturity and security and whether there is a committed partner is an important piece of the puzzle which this person does have. Also has the support of family and friends which is important too.

Joe

J_9 · Mar 3, 2007, 06:49 PM

Of course I respect your view Joe. You know that. And I appreciate your candor.

However, we have so many posts here about how they were ready to have a child, but "he" was never really into it. It was all the girl. Then she comes back with how he left her and can he relinquish rights.

Joe, you know where I am coming from here.

You are right she wanted to know. But you also know what we see here in a daily basis.

Correct me if I am wrong, but how many times do we see that "they" are ready to have a baby, then the girl comes back with how he left her or he had an affair or he wants to give up his rights.

I was just trying to make a point that at 17 a person is not ready to give away his/her life, forever, just to make their relationship "complete."

A child does not make a relationship complete.

Now, if you want the answer to the question.

It could be hormonal because she is 17 and because she wants it so much. Mental attitude usually rules over the physical. You know that and so do I. Many women are late because they are hoping, wishing. But it never comes to fruition until they relax and let time take its course.