[annie2561]

I am in a 19 year relationship with a man who has been I say the love of my life. Am I fooling myself.
We do not go out any longer. He seems to want to stay home which I don't mind. But never in all those years wants to go out. He likes his alcohol daily. I say he is an alcoholic. . Love the house we are in. I don't know why I feel he makes many promises and brakes them all the time. He says I am the love of my life. But when I think about it. My life kind of sucks. I am 51 years old and have been divorced and never really enjoy life, I am stuck in a rut. I am going through menopause and do not feel like it was before. He had a viral menigitis and has ed now. He takes care of me and I feel like now its his turn. When we first met we couldn't keep our hands or anything off each other. Now it's a chore. Penis pump or meds. And I have no desire any more. What have I done to be so miserable, I work late hours now and he is always almost drunk which irritates me. We own a house and I feel like I have missed out on so much of my life. I hold my head high and make excuses as to why he is not at a function, I will die before I ever experience life with him. All I want to do is see blue water some day, in 19 years we have never had a vacation to ourselves. My children are grown and on their own, I am stressed out just thinking about what I will see when I get home. He always completments me or talks a good game and I get excited and then it never happens. I have good things and bad things but when I really think about it. I really think I am miserable. I don't go out ever unless grocery's or work and I always hope he will just say lets go, But it never happens, why do I hang on waiting for a surpise or shock someday, There is a lot more to this story but maybe you can help I have to tell you my anxiety meds keep me sane. HELP

[tomoiskool11]

Have you two talked about it? Maybe try to spice things up a bit, go on a hot date or something, you now?