[gayguyswantbaby]

Hey
I am a gay guy with a great desire to be a father. Having been in a great relationship for 7 years now I feel we are ready to take the next step and give a loving home to a child. We've looked at adoption, but its not possible for various reasons (which I am willing to explain fully if asked.) We cannot afford surragacy and I have to admit I don't really believe in buying a baby as such.
As I said, I have a burning desire to be a father and I remember when first coming out my mum was really sad as she said that the one thing she felt I would miss would be the joy of being a great father. You see I always from a young age had that maternal approach to everything and I guess I have to admit that although I hate saying it, I am the home maker and love nothing more than when we look after our friends kids and have them stay over for weekends. I feel like it is my role to organise and my partner relishes being the 'good' person who has the fun! Pretty much like real parents I guess??
As I get older, am now 33 and the desire becomes stronger and I cannot think of anything else. I go shopping and look at baby clothes and go online and put things in my shopping baskets to pretent to buy things, totally stupid I know but I cannot help it.
Historically I guess I've over compensated with my sisters children, my 11 year old Nephew used to stay with us weekly and see's us as being his parents. We've set up a University fund for him as I know my sister doesn't think of such things and I want him to not have to worry when he gets older. My sister has recently given birth to a little girl, she is such a joy and I wish I could keep her. This will sound totally hateful and horrible but I often have visions of my sister and her husband being killed in accidents and I get the children. I feel so much shame after these thoughts and am welling up whilst writing this, but I guess that's the way it is.
I suppose on a practical note, for those reading this I would say that both myself and partner are both in well paid jobs and we are certainly in a position to build a great life for a child/children.

[tickle]

There is every possibility that you can become parents, and I think it is a great idea to want to give a child a worthwhile home. Have you tried any adoption agencies as yet ? I am assuming you are in the UK where I do believe there is no stigma attached to same sex couples raising a child.

[teacherjenn4]

Another idea is to start as a foster parent. With regular visits by a social worker, they may allow you to adopt the child after a period and good parenting skills shown. Have you thought about this route at all?

[Synnen]

Okay, so adoption is not possible, and surrogacy is too expensive.

So... what is your question?

If you want to adopt, you go to a reputable adoption agency and start filling out the paperwork.

No one is going to just hand you a baby and say "here you go!" Sorry---but that's not the way the world works. Believe me, I'd love it if we took children from horrible parents and gave them to parents who would love and protect them, but somehow people still have this crazy idea that biological parents are always best for the child and we give drug users, abusers and those who neglect and abandon their children multiple chances to screw up.

But--we can't help you unless we better understand what your question is.