[96xj]

I've been dating a new guy for about a month and a half now. He is in the army and from a different state. So far, our relationship has been going great but recently a conversation about his ex came up. One night I was just trying to strike up a conversation and said "So tell me what went wrong with your last relationship". At this point we had already been dating for a month and I felt like we knew each other well enough that this wasn't a inappropriate question to ask.

However, he immediately got defensive and avoided the question. He said he didn't want to talk about it and it wasn't any of my business. Maybe he was right and I was crossing some lines by asking such a personal question but I couldn't help but feel suspicious about the way we got defensive. I felt like maybe he didn't want to talk about it because he still has feelings for her. I can talk about my exes comfortably with him, so I couldn't understand his reaction.

Later on I confronted him about it and he explained that she was the one who broke his heart but they have remained friends over the years. They still keep in contact even though she lives in the state he is from. I feel uneasy about the though of them being friends because in my experience being friends with an ex seemed to always get in the way of me getting over my past exes.

A few days ago he asked me to look for a CD in the center console of his truck and in clear view I found a picture of his ex. I knew it was her because he had shown a picture of her to me on Facebook before. The biggest problem I had with this was that we've talked about his truck before and he has told me that he's only had his truck for a year yet he's been broken up with his ex for three years. So I didn't understand why he would have a picture of her.

This really started to bother me and I confronted him about it and he gave me a bogus excuse that didn't make much sense. At first he said he was cleaning out his truck and he found the picture on the floor and just threw it in his console thinking nothing of it. Then he later changed the explanation to he used to have pictures of all of his friends from his hometown in his truck but got rid of them and must have just missed that one. Neither excuse made sense to me so we got into a fight and he ended up ripping up the picture to appease me it felt like.

After seeing her picture and seeing how defensive he gets when I ask about her I have a strong gut feeling that he isn't over her. These feeling have just been eating away at me and making me feel absolutely miserable and paranoid. So one night we go out drinking and with a little alcohol in my system I work up the guts to let him know how I feel. This starts a fight but by the end of the fight he tells me that he has deleted her from Facebook and deleted her number. Right after he tells me this he leaves his phone in front of me and goes to the bathroom. I go through his contacts to see if he is telling me the truth and find her name still under there. Now at this point he's lying to me about her and hiding her from. This has been bothering me for days now.

I don't know if I'm being too paranoid and just have more faith in him or if my gut feelings are right. I would really appreciate any advice.

[Homegirl 50]

What do you have to do, catch them together? It is pretty obvious he still has feeling for her, maybe he talks to her. He has already lied to you about her.
You have only been dating a month. Walk away before you invest anymore time and emotions. It does no good to be with someone you don't trust or have uneasy feelings about.