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DadNeedsHelp74 · Jul 9, 2012, 05:54 PM

I have somewhat of a strange situation. I had a child when I was 16 with a girl I was dating. I signed the birth certificate as his father. We split when our son was only a few months old. She didn't allow me to see him anymore & being that I was dealing with a serious drug issue, I did not try to get any visitation rights. A year after we split, she got married & she took me to court for child support. I was ordered to pay. However, I did not do this regularly either. Shortly after the court date I had attended, his mother, along with many others, told me that he had been adopted by his step-father. My drug problem continued for quite a few years. I never doubted his adoption because if I had received news of a court date, I figured I wouldn't have paid it any attention. I cleaned myself up when my son was 3. I never kept contact with the mother. The address that I used for child support court (which was owned by a family friend) continued to receive mail stating I needed to pay my monthly child support. Three years ago, I found a way to contact the mother. She stated that if I was receiving child support letters, it was just for back child support. She then led me to believe that I could have a relationship with my son. However, she was not happy when I would not agree to keeping this a secret from my wife. I had a lawyer at the time for unrelated issues. My lawyer contacted me & said that the mother was taking me back to court for child support & insurance. My lawyer informed the court that the child was supposed to have been adopted. After a month or so, the child support office informed me that adoption papers had never been turned in & that, after multiple attempts, the mother would not contact them. They, in turn, dropped any evidence of a child support order being placed. It never occurred to me that the adoption may not have happened. Just recently, the mother has again been in contact with me. While she refuses to let me see my son, she is willing to keep me informed about his well-being. A few things she has said has concerned me (such as his behavioral problems & bad grades). She also told me that his adoption did not take place until he was in kindergarten. This was confusing to me, not only because I was told the adoption happened years before but also because I was clean and sober by then and would not have ignored a consent to adopt letter. She also casually stated that the child's social security card had not been changed yet. (Even though, to my knowledge, he was supposed to have been adopted 8 years ago, & according to her he was adopted 5 years ago.) Does this sound suspicious to anyone else or am I just wishful thinking? Is there any way that I could find out for sure if he is adopted or not? Any suggestions would be helpful!

ScottGem · Jul 9, 2012, 07:16 PM

So you get an attorney and file for joint custody and visitation. If the child was adopted, she will be required to produce proof of the adoption. Otherwise you will win visitation. She will probably go after you for child support though.

DadNeedsHelp74 · Jul 10, 2012, 09:47 AM

I don't mind paying child support. Is there any way I could find out if he is adopted without hiring an attorney? Of course, I'll hire an attorney to fight for visitation rights but if there is a way to find out about the adoption without paying a retainer fee, I'd like to do that first. Just in your opinion, does it sound like he could possibly not be adopted?

ScottGem · Jul 10, 2012, 09:59 AM

Unless you know what court issued the adoption and when, it would be very difficult for you to find. You could act pro se and request a subpoena for the records. Or just filing for custody and visitation may force her to produce the adoption papers if she wants to deny you either.

AK lawyer · Jul 10, 2012, 10:38 AM

Originally Posted by DadNeedsHelp74

... Is there any way I could find out if he is adopted without hiring an attorney? ...

Depends on how much information you do have.

You could contact the vital statistics agency for the state where he was born. Ask for a birth certificate. If the adoption has occurred, the BC would have been changed to show the adoptive father, probably a different surname for the child, and the agency would probably have to refuse your request. On the other hand, if there was not an adoption (and that's what it looks like to me), they will give you a BC for a small fee.