[blondie1988]

First of all I know everyone is going to judge me and say I'm a homewrecker but up until a yr ago I was a quiet 23 yr old who travelled the world and danced and my whole life has changed forever now. I'm a dancer and went to dance and live at a show, I started sleeping with my boss who has a girlfriend of 4 yrs and they have a 2 yr old son, I knew what I was doing and I know the outcome which has brought me to today is my fault, he wanted to meet me and I said yes when I should have said no, it was just fun and excitement and then this yr he told me he loved me and I had also fallen in love with him only to then find out a month later his girlfriend was pregnant again it broke my heart and I ended it, I fell bk into his arms when she went to visit her family in bulgaria for 2 months I lived with him for all that time and it got very serious I found out over a month ago I was also pregnant with his child, I conceived the 1st week I went bk to him we used condoms so I'm still confused of how this all happened. I definitely never dreamed of having my 1st child like this I considered abortion but I just couldn't bring myself to do it I've never believed in it, he's obviously staying with his girlfriend as they will now have 2 young kids together, and to mention the girlfriend he is with now he had an affair with her for 2 yrs when he was with his first partner of 17 yrs and he left her for his girlfriend now and he's now doing the same thing to her but he would never leave her as he's already left 1 partner once. I left my job over 2 weeks ago as I couldn't bare seeing her when she came bk from bulgaria its killing me being apart from him and I feel like I can't go on without him,we speak everyday and we met at the weekend and went to a hotel but as soon as I said bye to him I ended it with him the next day realsing I just can't meet every 2-3 weeks for 1 niight and then for him to go bk to his family, he said he'll support me with the baby but I do love him so much I know I need to let him go and leave him now but its hard when I'm carrying his child what I've done is already terrible and this isn't me my friends and family are totally shocked by my actions I don't want to take him away from his family even though I long to be with him without critiscim please just give me advice on how to move on from this, I'm crying everyday and stressing which obviously isn't good for the baby