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    Birdman38's Avatar
    Birdman38 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 8, 2012, 08:03 PM
    Talking to a married woman
    Ive been recently emailing and texting a married woman. It first started after a drunken night out with friends where I basically drunk text her and said I had a "thing" for her, which I do. It continued with some flirting only through texts. After awhile I found out that she has been questioning her marriage for the past couple months before I basically declared my feelings for her. Am I doing something wrong, I feel like I may be swaying her even though she has told me that Im not factored into her decisions one way or the other. I don't want to cause a divorce but could it really be my fault if she was already thinking this? Can I get in trouble if they do get divorced, legally? Financially? I could see myself in a relationship with her down the road, we have similar personalities, likes, etc. I'm looking for help/advice
    jharana's Avatar
    jharana Posts: 6, Reputation: 0
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    #2

    Jul 8, 2012, 08:48 PM
    I don't think you have done anything wrong that could cause her to file a divorce but despite of her being married, you started flirting with her.. which is a wrong thing to do.. But you said that she already had problems with her marriage before you declared your feeling to her. And she let you have further contact with her. This means that she saw you as a comfort during her stressful times and she likes that . I cannot say that she is falling for you because love just don't happen, it takes time. Let her make her decision and perhaps she was planning to do that before even you talked to her.So, I don't think that this is something to worry about.
    Birdman38's Avatar
    Birdman38 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jul 8, 2012, 08:54 PM
    She initially said that she was happily married and then a week later she told me that she was questioning the marriage for awhile, and if anything I just brought it to the forefront instead of her just forgetting about it and dealing with it
    Gamed's Avatar
    Gamed Posts: 269, Reputation: 29
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    #4

    Jul 8, 2012, 11:06 PM
    You can't get in any trouble and either she's not happy in her marriage or she says that to make you feel better about having a relationship with her either way keep distance for now. Hope this was Helpful
    Mobley119's Avatar
    Mobley119 Posts: 142, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Jul 8, 2012, 11:32 PM
    You always should leave room for them to work it out. I'd give her space, and let her know, your doing it so she can have time to figure out what she truly wants. She may say you're not swaying her decision, but you probably are.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Jul 9, 2012, 05:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Birdman38 View Post
    Ive been recently emailing and texting a married woman. It first started after a drunken night out with friends where I basically drunk text her and said I had a "thing" for her, which I do. It continued with some flirting only through texts. After awhile I found out that she has been questioning her marriage for the past couple months before I basically declared my feelings for her. Am I doing something wrong, I feel like I may be swaying her even though she has told me that Im not factored into her decisions one way or the other. I don't want to cause a divorce but could it really be my fault if she was already thinking this? Can I get in trouble if they do get divorced, legally? Financially? I could see myself in a relationship with her down the road, we have similar personalities, likes, etc. I'm looking for help/advice

    Depending on where you most probably can't get "into trouble" if they divorce, other than a divorce based on cruel/inhuman treatment or adultery and being named. No one knows what the other person's spouse is going to try to do.

    If you are asking about alienation of affection those lawsuits are allowed in very few places.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #7

    Jul 9, 2012, 05:44 AM
    You are looking for all kinds of trouble if you keep it up with a married woman.

    First of all she's married, and off limits. Until she is no longer married.

    Show a little respect, and allow her to deal with her husband, without another man in the shadows.

    You most certainly are affecting her decisions about her marriage; she probably thinks someone else is going to be there for her that was better than what she had.

    Don't factor- at all, into the situation that needs to be handled only by her and her husband.

    Texting her is not harmless. You are giving her an 'out' to at least bolster her need to abandon her marriage. If you weren't in the picture, she has to face him on her own, woman up and take care of her own business.

    I would stop contact completely, and tell her that when she is divorced, and has recovered from that, and is on her own, then, and only then, should she contact you.
    here2assist's Avatar
    here2assist Posts: 101, Reputation: 27
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Jul 10, 2012, 03:43 PM
    Bad idea all around. Nothing positive can come of this. Let's say she leaves her husband. If she jumps into a relationship with you she'll have serious baggage. She can't give 100% until she has worked through the grief. I'm sorry but my best friend went through a divorce and even though she couldn't wait to get rid of him, it still caused her serious emotional stress. A loss is a loss no matter which way you look at it. Find a single, available girl!
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
     
    #9

    Jul 10, 2012, 03:49 PM
    Hmmmm reread the title of your thread and REALLY think about the answer.

    Then after you answer yourself, then ask yourself if YOU would want another man flirting with texts and emails with your wife...

    Think about it.

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