[KLyn111]

I'm a woman and was in a relationship with a woman for a little over a year. Things were really wonderful for the first nine months or so, but then we moved to a really small place, she had surgery, and things began to fall apart. She started to get moody and angry, complained about our place, my dogs, me. I'm an abuse survivor and I think this was all very triggering for me. I began to shut down both emotionally and physically, which is often a pattern with me in relationships. Eventually we weren't having sex at all and were both very unhappy. I started to feel like I didn't love her anymore and she continued to get more angry. One night she broke up with me, but then took it all back the next day. She doesn't understand my abuse and how it has affected me. She thinks it's like being an alcoholic - something I can just get over if I put my mind to it and go to support meetings. Anyway, shortly after that I broke up with her. It was awful. She completely fell apart, and over the next month her interactions with me went from begging me to take her back, to screaming at me for letting her love me. I felt extremely guilty and sad. At one point she told me that I should warn the next person I'm with about my problems with intimacy and that I didn't deserve to have anyone love me. We've been broken up for almost three months now, and have had very little contact -- but yesterday she contacted me. She was very sweet and told me she was still very much in love with me and sure I was the one for her. She said she worries about me and she was crying and told me she'd wait for me as long as it took if I would just give us another chance. I miss her. And while I know this is probably the best thing for us to be apart, I wonder if I might have made the wrong decision. I think she does love me, and maybe with some help she might be able to better understand me and my issues. She was a wonderful girlfriend in so many ways. I don't know - I guess it's just hard to let love go. My friends are telling me to cut off all contact with her and move on. Maybe that's best?