[lilbitmor]

I have fallen for both men and women. The feelings seem to be more intense with women. About a yr. ago I met a woman through a very homophobic friend. It didn't take long before I became attracted to her. I even tried to ask her out under the guise of an April fools gag. She immediately said no for religious reasons even though she has thought about it (with someone else).

She has medical reasons she can't have intercourse and is having a hard time thinking that a guy could ever love her without sex. I see her every Friday night and it drives me nuts. I try to be attentive and helpful and a good listener. Every time I call or ask her if she wants to just hang out, she says she's busy or doesn't return my call.

I'm very frustrated and wonder if there is any way to get through to her. I would even give up sex just to hold and kiss her. I don't know if it's deep emotional love or do I just want that because we have a lot in common and I am attracted to her physically. Any suggestions?

[Alty]

She's made it very clear that this is not something she would consider. Religion can be a strong motivator, even more so than how you actually feel.

Bottom line, she's said no, and you keep persisting. I have a feeling she's not returning your calls because she's tired of turning you down and you not taking no for an answer.

It's best to find someone that wants the same things you do. Be her friend, but stop trying to make her your girlfriend.

[talaniman]

She ain't bi, she ain't gay, so respect that and stop pushing for something you want, but she doesn't.

Take the gentle hints she is giving and back off.

I can understand the frustrations of wanting what you can't have, and its right there in front of you.

[kaka67]

You are being very disrespectful.

What's there to "get thru to her"... She said no.
You need to "get thru to yourself" that you've pushed it and now she won't even answer your calls. She probably thinks you're a bit of a d**k...

Leave her alone if you can't be friends.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will agree you are not a very good friend and being disrespectful, You are the reason people often don't like gays, they see the gay person trying to PUSH their belief and life style on someone else.

Why can you not understand no, if you were a guy, and keep trying, they would get a restraining order or something.

[lilbitmor]

By the way I wasn't being pushy I just wanted to hang out as friends. I would never force my feelings on anyone and she has no ideal I like her that way. Try not assuming anything before you answer.

[Alty]

By the way I wasn't being pushy I just wanted to hang out as friends. I would never force my feelings on anyone and she has no ideal I like her that way. Try not assuming anything before you answer.

I didn't assume anything. I based my response on your post, especially this part of it;

I even tried to ask her out under the guise of an April fools gag. She immediately said no for religious reasons

[lilbitmor]

Did you notice I said April fools joke?

[Alty]

did you notice i said april fools joke?

Did you notice that she immediately said no, and didn't take it as a joke? Now she's not taking your calls, and you wonder why?

It's not hard to connect the dots. You said it was in the guise of an April fools joke. If she had taken it as a joke would she have said no for religious reasons? She knew it wasn't a joke, and you did too. Look up the word "guise". You're only fooling yourself.

[lilbitmor]

Note taken