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laciya104 · Jul 6, 2012, 04:02 PM

Me and my husbanfd have been marriaed almost a year in Aug... can't really remember how things were before we got married, or why we even got married. I do love him with all my heart, but I have several complaints. Our sex life suckssss!! He is not affectionate at all, no compliments, no kisses, no hugs and acts like it kills him when I ask for one. I am the intiator when it comes to sex, which really messes with myself esteem... we went to 1 counseling appointment with a very good counselor. Never went back. Didn't seem to help anyway. Not sure what to do anymore and now I have cheatedd... after 3 years of being together and faithful. I find so much joy and hapiness with this other guy , even if it is just temporary.

Another issue with the hubby is that we don't communicate. If he is wrong and I (calmly) ask a question, he doesn't want to talk and packs his things. Sometimes he's gone for 20 minutes, a day, 1 week and even stayed gone 2 months. I have to admit, these times are peaceful lol... anyway, we have no passion, no affection, seems like we are roommates! Please help!!

odinn7 · Jul 6, 2012, 04:04 PM

Sounds like it's time for a divorce.

Neither of you committed to counseling. He leaves for undetermined amounts of time (where does he go for 2 months?), neither of you communicate, and you're cheating.

Why not throw in the towel? What are you hanging on for?

kingof45240 · Jul 6, 2012, 04:14 PM

Ok so it sound like your man is also a boy that deep down wants to interact and mingle with others as if he just graduated High School. The dynamics in a relationship should model that of others. You deserve to have a relationship with your husband that you want to have. If you are not happy and he is not willing to give that to you than as a WOMAN you should find a man that can provide for your needs and wants. Passion in sex is very important in marriage if this is missing than I can see how you feel your relationship is like roommates. In marriage every time you have sexual relations passion and love should be in every stroke. Everything you described sounds as if he does not want to be in a relationship that you as a woman deserves. This list of evidence to my prior statement includes: packing bags every time you try to talk, leaving for weeks at a time, not being able to communicate. *side note: Lack of communication destroys nations, surely your marriage won't last if there is a lack of communication. Do yourself a favor, tend to your future. The only kids you should have to take care of at this point are your kids, family kids, unfortunate kids, or upon your own choosing a grown man who lives as a kid... the latter kid will only bring you down...

Wrote by a real man...

laciya104 · Jul 6, 2012, 04:40 PM

I guess we depend on each other... what he has, I don't... visa versa... I do love him and he loves me, I know... just not enough I guess. Just made a life with him and I really meant my vows. I'm just lonely a lot and I guess the attention I get from the other guy makes me feel great, just wish it were him that made me feel that way.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 6, 2012, 05:18 PM

How old are the two of you?
One counseling session is not enough to even scratch the surface of your problems.
With him disappearing for a week, a couple of months... and you have only been married a year, that would have been a deal breaker to me. This is not a marriage and now that you have cheated, you two need to call it quits, he had probably cheated as well during his disappearing acts.
End it now before one of you gets hurt.