[dogmom4]

Hello,
I am in a frightening situation. I went through a brutal divorce 5 yrs ago. My ex was/is very abusive. I hired an attny got good results in the beginning but ended badly. I was awarded family home & my ex signed a quick claim deed so I am legal sole owner. However the mortgage was left in his name because at that time it was much more cost effective & I was not working due to back surgeries. Even though I had spousal support I could not get a loan because I had not been working for 4+ yrs & was told that the morg co's needed to see at least 2-3 yrs of my continual payment history. My ex was supposed to notify the mortgage co. that they had his permission for me to be authorized on accnt to ask ?'s or any info I needed, that I would be making all further payments going forward. He never did it no matter how many times he was told to which caused me many more issues.
Here's my problem, because he has issues & was angry/acted out whenever something did not go his way. He started this even before the divorce was over causing me all sorts of problems/damage. I should have been left in a position that would have allowed me to survive & move on w/my life. I received a sum of $ & spousal support w/the hope that I would be able to return to work at some point. He called the mortgage co many times having the statements sent away from the home to where ever he was. He also started messing around w/my regular mail. He was trying to cause me to have a payment not get there, become late so he could go to the courts to have me found in contempt of court for violating the divorce decree. I could not set up monthly w/d's from my checking accnt but they couldn't because my ex never did the authorization. Well after 2 yrs he succeeded, once, when I was taken to the hospital. I had put several payments in my mail box to be mailed out, including the mortgage, because I was pretty sure I would be admitted. Well over 1 mo later I found out the payment never arrived so he filed the contempt charge, lied & said I was late twice. The stress has about killed me. It has caused my health to plummet severely.
I am now disabled, have developed several serious health probs, I can hardly function any more & will need to have 2-3 surgeries. Because of his lies & manipulations he has caused me to lose most of the $$ I had, spousal support. I thought the attnys I hired would protect me from these probs. Instead he didn't do many things that would have protected me & now my ex has filed suit against me to force me to sell my home. I can't refinance since I lost my support & have no income. My credit is excellent for now & the mortgage payments are current to date.
About 1 yr after the divorce is when my health started to decline. I have also lost a lot of money on huge ongoing medical bills for all of the new health issues that have arisen from my ex's abuse, behavior & all the domino effect of issues/stress. I am living off what savings I have left but it is going fast. I have been going w/o certain medical & other help I desperately need to try & conserve as much as possible.
I can't afford to move. There is no way I could find a place to rent in my area for what my mortgage payment is. I've lived here for 10yrs+ & have put every drop of work & money into this home. Because my health has been so bad & I haven't been able to continue the help I used to have here, there are projects that have been piling up. Between the ware & tare on the home & several things that need to be repaired I can't afford to sell my home w/o fixing them or I will take an enormous loss, much more than the cost to do it. This is a nice house. I have to walk away w/enough $ after loan is paid off as it is all I have to buy another home when the time comes that I do need to move. The market crash also didn't help either. My plan was to find a smaller home & put what ever is left in savings because even @ the time of divorce I knew I would have back probes for the rest of my life. My health has been so bad that I have not been able to do these things. I have 2 lrg dogs who are my kids & my brother living here. He is a full time student & unemployed. He helps me w/alot of things that I cannot do or afford anymore. I can barely leave the house most of the time, there is no way I could go through a move when I can barely move/function. I don't have enough $ anymore to buy the mortgage off, in fact only enough to exist for 3-4 yrs maybe. I'm in the process of filing disability but it's along process. I've tried everything looking for help or someone to give me an arm loan of 3-7 yrs w/no go because of no income, even though I've got enough to cover that length of time. I never planned on staying here for ever but also never planned on any of these things happening or my health suffering because of it. I was supposed to be able to move on w/my life in peace. Because I've basically become house-bound & bed ridden I haven't been able to do anything like be w/my friends, go out, I've missed all sorts of activities, birthdays, holidays w/family & friends. All I ever wanted was a family & now have lost not just that but now I will probably never be able to have a child (the human kind), something I've always wanted so dearly.
I have had so many of my rights violated by my attny, the last judge we had as well as I my ex. I have been threatened continually, abused you name it & have lost all faith in the legal system. I have spent the past 5 yrs afraid for my safety, health, wellbeing, finances & am now afraid of losing my home. My ex makes millions+ $$'s & has been able to afford to continually cause me problems. He could have been a man, saved us both a lot of $ & time but he isn't happy unless he gets his way w/everything so he has taken this entire thing to where it is now.
One of his daily threats to me before the finalization of the divorce was "if you don't do what i say then this or that will happen & i will do what ever i have to to get the outcome i want." I know he meant it I just didn't think he would actually be allowed to get away w/it. It doesn't matter how nice/good of a person I've spent my life being it seems people will do anything for $$ or they are afraid of it/him because they see what he's done to me. I've had everyone who's been involved in my case tell me that he is one of the worst narcissists they've ever seen, he's a con artist, terrible person, etc but that hasn't seemed to matter much. I'm so scared. Scared of losing the only thing I have left & because of how bad my health is, my life.
Can I be forced to sell my home in my situation. What do I do if the judge is unethical & sides w/my ex's demands, he's got this amazing way of making himself look like the victim. Last court date the judge had his mind made up before we even got there. He would not listen to one thing I said, that was if he even allowed me to even talk. I have no where to go, no body to help me & can no longer afford an attorney if I want to be able to live. My case was/is very complex, there was so much involved that the thought of trying to even catch up an attorney on the details is very scary, especially if they don't know the law in-depth enough to protect me which was a huge problem w/last attny. This also added to my list of problems. I can't afford to get stuck paying my ex's attny fees either. I just got served these papers 2 days ago and am supposed to go before the judge in August. I'm supposed to be having 1 of the surgeries I need asap but because I've been so ill they can't do it until my vitals are up. One of the surgeries I need isn't covered by insurance & is going to cost $35,000! All of this stress is really killing me. I haven't had one break from this whole mess for 5yrs. Am I supposed to become homeless w/my dogs, make my brother homeless, not be able to get the medical attention I need? Eat? Enough of my life has been taken because of this. All I've ever wanted through this is for my ex to just leave me alone. Sorry for the long post but there is so much to this story it's hard to give the digest version.
Thanks for your time, in Oregon

[ScottGem]

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on another thread. This can lead to confusion. So I've moved your question to its own thread. Also please don't post the same question multiple times.

I just skimmed through your post but I'm not clear on what he is suing you for. Most of what you posted is extraneous detail. But that's the one detail that can help us help you. The rest of just doesn't seem to matter.

[JudyKayTee]

an attny got good results in the beginning but ended badly. i was awarded family home & my ex signed a quick claim deed so i am legal sole owner. however the mortgage was left in his name because at that time it was much more cost effective & i was not working due to back surgeries. even though i had spousal support i could not get a loan i had not beehello,
i am in a frightening sitbecause uation. i went through a brutal divorce 5 yrs ago. my ex was/is very abusive. i hired n working for 4+ yrs & was told that the morg co's needed to see atleast 2-3 yrs of my continual payment history. my ex was supposed to notify the mortgage co. that they had his permission for me to be authorized on accnt to ask ?'s or any info i needed, that i would be making all further payments going forward. he never did it no matter how many times he was told to which caused me many more issues.
here's my problem, because he has issues & was angry/acted out whenever something did not go his way. he started this even before the divorce was over causing me all sorts of problems/damage. i should have been left in a position that would have allowed me to survive & move on w/my life. i received a sum of $ & spousal support w/the hope that i would be able to return to work at some point. he called the mortgage co many times having the statements sent away from the home to where ever he was. he also started messing around w/my regular mail. he was trying to cause me to have a payment not get there, become late so he could go to the courts to have me found in contempt of court for violating the divorce decree. i could not set up monthly w/d's from my checking accnt but they couldn't because my ex never did the authorization. well after 2 yrs he succeeded, once, when i was taken to the hospital. i had put several payments in my mail box to be mailed out, including the mortgage, because i was pretty sure i would be admitted. well over 1 mo later i found out the payment never arrived so he filed the contempt charge, lied & said i was late twice. the stress has about killed me. it has caused my health to plummet severely.
i am now disabled, have developed several serious health probs, i can hardly function any more & will need to have 2-3 surgeries. because of his lies & manipulations he has caused me to lose most of the $$ i had, spousal support. i thought the attnys i hired would protect me from these probs. instead he didn't do many things that would have protected me & now my ex has filed suit against me to force me to sell my home. i can't refinance since i lost my support & have no income. my credit is excellent for now & the mortgage payments are current to date.
about 1 yr after the divorce is when my health started to decline. i have also lost a lot of money on huge ongoing medical bills for all of the new health issues that have arisen from my ex's abuse, behavior & all the domino effect of issues/stress. i am living off what savings i have left but it is going fast. i have been going w/o certain medical & other help i desperately need to try & conserve as much as possible.
i can't afford to move. there is no way i could find a place to rent in my area for what my mortgage payment is. i've lived here for 10yrs+ & have put every drop of work & money into this home. because my health has been so bad & i haven't been able to continue the help i used to have here, there are projects that have been piling up. between the ware & tare on the home & several things that need to be repaired i can't afford to sell my home w/o fixing them or i will take an enormous loss, much more than the cost to do it. this is a nice house. i have to walk away w/enough $ after loan is paid off as it is all i have to buy another home when the time comes that i do need to move. the market crash also didn't help either. my plan was to find a smaller home & put what ever is left in savings because even @ the time of divorce i knew i would have back probes for the rest of my life. my health has been so bad that i have not been able to do these things. i have 2 lrg dogs who are my kids & my brother living here. he is a full time student & unemployed. he helps me w/alot of things that i cannot do or afford anymore. i can barely leave the house most of the time, there is no way i could go through a move when i can barely move/function. i don't have enough $ anymore to buy the mortgage off, in fact only enough to exist for 3-4 yrs maybe. i'm in the process of filing disability but it's along process. i've tried everything looking for help or someone to give me an arm loan of 3-7 yrs w/no go because of no income, even though i've got enough to cover that length of time. i never planned on staying here for ever but also never planned on any of these things happening or my health suffering because of it. i was supposed to be able to move on w/my life in peace. because i've basically become house-bound & bed ridden i haven't been able to do anything like be w/my friends, go out, i've missed all sorts of activities, birthdays, holidays w/family & friends. all i ever wanted was a family & now have lost not just that but now i will probably never be able to have a child (the human kind), something i've always wanted so dearly.
i have had so many of my rights violated by my attny, the last judge we had as well as i my ex. i have been threatened continually, abused you name it & have lost all faith in the legal system. i have spent the past 5 yrs afraid for my saftey, health, wellbeing, finances & am now afraid of losing my home. my ex makes millions+ $$'s & has been able to afford to continually cause me problems. he could have been a man, saved us both a lot of $ & time but he isnt happy unless he gets his way w/everything so he has taken this entire thing to where it is now.
one of his daily threats to me before the finalization of the divorce was "if you don't do what i say then this or that will happen & i will do what ever i have to to get the outcome i want." i know he meant it i just didn't think he would actually be allowed to get away w/it. it doesn't matter how nice/good of a person i've spent my life being it seems people will do anything for $$ or they are afraid of it/him because they see what he's done to me. i've had everyone who's been involved in my case tell me that he is one of the worst narcissists they've ever seen, he's a con artist, terrible person, etc but that hasn't seemed to matter much. i'm so scared. scared of losing the only thing i have left & because of how bad my health is, my life.
can i be forced to sell my home in my situation. what do i do if the judge is unethical & sides w/my ex's demands, he's got this amazing way of making himself look like the victim. last court date the judge had his mind made up before we even got there. he would not listen to one thing i said, that was if he even allowed me to even talk. i have no where to go, no body to help me & can no longer afford an attorney if i want to be able to live. my case was/is very complex, there was so much involved that the thought of trying to even catch up an attorney on the details is very scary, especially if they don't know the law in-depth enough to protect me which was a huge problem w/last attny. this also added to my list of problems. i can't afford to get stuck paying my ex's attny fees either. i just got served these papers 2 days ago and am supposed to go before the judge in august. i'm supposed to be having 1 of the surgeries i need asap but because i've been so ill they can't do it until my vitals are up. one of the surgeries i need isn't covered by insurance & is going to cost $35,000! all of this stress is really killing me. i haven't had one break from this whole mess for 5yrs. am i supposed to become homeless w/my dogs, make my brother homeless, not be able to get the medical attention i need? eat? enough of my life has been taken because of this. all i've ever wanted through this is for my ex to just leave me alone. sorry for the long post but there is so much to this story it's hard to give the digest version.
thanks for your time, in oregon

Honestly, I don't know where to start!

First, the bank which holds the motgage does NOT have to abide by a Court ruling. If you realized - or your Attorney realized - that you could not obtain a mortgage in your name the house should have been sold instead of quit claiming it. Your "ex" holds the reins where the mortgage is concerned. If you are not on the mortgage the company has absolutely no obligation to communicate with you in any fashion. Your husband legally controls the mortgage, and that includes where the statements are sent.

You knew he was angry and controlling and making your life miserable and you left your mortgage payments in your mailbox to be picked up by the Postal worker instead of having your brother put them in a drop box? You knew your husband is a predator and you played right into his hands.

What specific "things" that would have protected you did your Attorney not do?

Whether you can afford to move or not may very well be immaterial. I understand your health, your financial problems, your inability to pay for repairs, but if the Court decrees that the house be sold - it will be sold.

I also assume you reported specific incidents of abuse to the Police.

If your "ex" is a millionaire I don't know why you haven't requested (and the Court hasn't ordered) that he pay your legal fees. You are paying HIS legal fees - and he's a millionaire?

If you are bedridden and housebound have your Physicians put that in writing. How are you going to get to the August hearing?

I'm not understanding why your "ex" is taking you back to Court to sell the house - ? Can you explain that? What type of surgery is $35,000, not covered by health insurance?

Your "ex" caused you to be unable to have children?

Quite frankly I glaze over when I start hearing about unethical and unbiased Judges - I'm having trouble believing your "ex" is such a charmer that the entire Court system believes him and not you.

I know you're upset - I'd be pulling my hair out (and I was divorced with three large dogs at one time) and frantic.

Can you explain some of this to me?

[dogmom4]

hello,
I apologize if anyone may have read this on another thread but my situation covers several areas of law so I'm trying to get as much info as possible.
I am in a frightening situation. I went through a brutal divorce 5 yrs ago. My ex was/is very abusive. I hired an attny got good results in the beginning but ended badly. I was awarded family home & my ex signed a quick claim deed so I am legal sole owner. However the mortgage was left in his name because at that time it was much more cost effective & I was not working due to back surgeries. Even though I had spousal support I could not get a loan because I had not been working for 5+ yrs & was told that the morg co's needed to see at least 2-3 yrs of my continual payment history. My ex was supposed to notify the mortgage co. that they had his permission for me to be authorized on accnt to ask ?'s or any info I needed, that I would be making all further payments going forward. He never did it no matter how many times he was told to which caused me many more issues.
here's my problem, because he has issues & was angry/acted out whenever something did not go his way. He started this even before the divorce was over causing me all sorts of problems/damage. I should have been left in a position that would have allowed me to survive & move on w/my life. I received a sum of $ & spousal support w/the hope that I would be able to return to work at some point. He called the mortgage co many times having the statements sent away from the home to where ever he was. He also started messing around w/my regular mail. He was trying to cause me to have a payment not get there, become late so he could go to the courts to have me found in contempt of court for violating the divorce decree. I could not set up monthly w/d's from my checking accnt but they couldn't because my ex never did the authorization. Well after 2 yrs he succeeded, once, when I was taken to the hospital. I had put several payments in my mail box to be mailed out, including the mortgage, because I was pretty sure I would be admitted. Well over 1 mo later I found out the payment never arrived so he filed the contempt charge, lied & said I was late twice. The stress has about killed me. It has caused my health to plummet severely.
in addition to what he did w/the mortgage, I have gone through credit card theft 2x & mail theft which I am still having issues with today.
I am now disabled, have developed several serious health probs, I can hardly function any more & will need to have 2-3 surgeries. Because of his lies & manipulations he has caused me to lose most of the $$ I had, spousal support. I thought the attnys I hired would protect me from these probs. Instead he didn't do many things that would have protected me & now my ex has filed suit against me to force me to sell my home. I can't refinance since I lost my support & have no income. My credit is excellent for now & the mortgage payments are current to date.
about 1 yr after the divorce is when my health started to decline. I have also lost a lot of money on huge ongoing medical bills for all of the new health issues that have arisen from my ex's abuse, behavior & all the domino effect of issues/stress. I am living off what savings I have left but it is going fast. I have been going w/o certain medical & other help I desperately need to try & conserve as much as possible.
I can't afford to move. There is no way I could find a place to rent in my area for what my mortgage payment is. I've lived here for 10yrs+ & have put every drop of work & money into this home. Because my health has been so bad & I haven't been able to continue the help I used to have here, there are projects that have been piling up. Between the ware & tare on the home & several things that need to be repaired I can't afford to sell my home w/o fixing them or I will take an enormous loss, much more than the cost to do it. This is a nice house. I have to walk away w/enough $ after loan is paid off as it is all I have to buy another home when the time comes that I do need to move. The market crash also didn't help either. My plan was to find a smaller home & put what ever is left in savings because even @ the time of divorce I knew I would have back probes for the rest of my life. My health has been so bad that I have not been able to do these things.
I have 2 lrg dogs who are my kids & my brother living here. He is a full time student & unemployed. He helps me w/alot of things that I cannot do or afford anymore. I can barely leave the house most of the time, there is no way I could go through a move when I can barely move/function. I don't have enough $ anymore to buy the mortgage off, in fact only enough to exist for 3-4 yrs maybe. I'm in the process of filing disability but it's along process. I've tried everything looking for help or someone to give me an arm loan of 3 or more yrs w/no go because of no income, even though I've got enough to cover that length of time. I never planned on staying here for ever but also never planned on any of these things happening or my health suffering because of it.
I was supposed to be able to move on w/my life in peace. Because I've basically become house-bound & bed ridden I haven't been able to do anything like be w/my friends, go out, I've missed all sorts of activities, birthdays, holidays w/family & friends. All I ever wanted was a family & now have lost not just that but now I will probably never be able to have a child (the human kind), something I've always wanted so dearly.
I have had so many of my rights violated by my attny, the last judge we had as well as I my ex. I have been threatened continually, abused you name it & have lost all faith in the legal system. I have spent the past 5 yrs afraid for my safety, health, wellbeing, finances & am now afraid of losing my home. My ex makes millions+ $$'s & has been able to afford to continually cause me problems. He could have been a man, saved us both a lot of $ & time but he isn't happy unless he gets his way w/everything so he has taken this entire thing to where it is now.
one of his daily threats to me before the finalization of the divorce was "if you don't do what i say then this or that will happen & i will do what ever i have to to get the outcome i want." I know he meant it I just didn't think he would actually be allowed to get away w/it. It doesn't matter how nice/good of a person I've spent my life being it seems people will do anything for $$ or they are afraid of it/him because they see what he's done to me. I've had everyone who's been involved in my case tell me that he is one of the worst narcissists they've ever seen, he's a con artist, terrible person, etc but that hasn't seemed to matter much. I'm so scared. Scared of losing the only thing I have left & because of how bad my health is, my life.
can I be forced to sell my home in my situation. What do I do if the judge is unethical & sides w/my ex's demands, he's got this amazing way of making himself look like the victim. Last court date the judge had his mind made up before we even got there. He would not listen to one thing I said, that was if he even allowed me to even talk. I have no where to go, no body to help me & can no longer afford an attorney if I want to be able to live. My case was/is very complex, there was so much involved that the thought of trying to even catch up an attorney on the details is very scary, especially if they don't know the law in-depth enough to protect me which was a huge problem w/last attny. This also added to my list of problems. I can't afford to get stuck paying my ex's attny fees either. I just got served these papers 2 days ago and am supposed to go before the judge in August. I'm supposed to be having 1 of the surgeries I need asap but because I've been so ill they can't do it until my vitals are up. One of the surgeries I need isn't covered by insurance & is going to cost $35,000! All of this stress is really killing me. I haven't had one break from this whole mess for 5yrs. Am I supposed to become homeless w/my dogs, make my brother homeless (does he have any rights here as a tenant?), not be able to get the all medical attention I need? Eat? Enough of my life has been taken because of this. All I've ever wanted through this is for my ex to just leave me alone. Sorry for the long post but there is so much to this story it's hard to give the digest version.
thanks for your time, in Oregon

[AK lawyer]

I just tried to wade through your post in the other thread, in search of a question, without success. Now I find the same thing in this thread.

Botom line: what is your issue? The bank is foreclosing? Your issues with you ex husband are not really the bank's fault or concern. Sorry.

[J_9]

I have merged your threads. I understand you are new here so I thought I would let you know that it's not necessary to start multiple threads for the same question. We will get to them in time.

[JudyKayTee]

Isn't posting #1 identical to posting #2 - not that it matters much!

[ScottGem]

Isn't posting #1 identical to posting #2 - not that it matters much!

Yes it looks that way to me. I thought I had removed all the other threads (there were three total at the time I dealt with it). Hopefully the OP will return to answer the questions so we can try to help.

[JudyKayTee]

I'll say this as kindly as I can - OP has posted 3 long, long blogs, not answered any questions and gone on to other threads. Something else is at play here - before anyone else spends the time reading, digesting and trying to help.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/ethics...ip-499874.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/ethics...ns-211160.html

{Mod note: second post removed since it was a 5 year old thread}

[joypulv]

This is too much of a ramble, sorry. Starting with why you couldn't make the mortgage payments right from the start - there's no requirement that the lender approve someone, anyone to make them! When I broke up with my husband, I stayed in our house and paid the mortgage that was in his name.
Also, if you are destitute, your brother should pay rent, and you should get roommates to pay rent too.
Yes, divorces often leave loose ends that require ongoing litigation, and nasty retribution does happen. I'm not sure what we are supposed to tell you.
Your doctors should be helping speed up the SSD process, but the minimum is usually 3 months, and even that is rare.

[dogmom4]

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on another thread. This can lead to confusion. So I've moved your question to its own thread. Also please don't post the same question multiple times.

I just skimmed through your post but I'm not clear on what he is suing you for. Most of what you posted is extraneous detail. But that's the one detail that can help us help you. the rest of just doesn't seem to matter.

hi,
sorry for the multiple quotes but there are several areas of law I'm looking for help or opinions on so that is why I posted it in a couple different areas. I added some extra things & deleted certain things dependent on the heading of each thread in hopes of getting responses from as many people in as many areas as I could since different people look in the areas they need or are interested in.
anyhow I was looking for help w/ 1) the home which I own alone title is in my name only, but the mortgage is in only my ex's name. It was left that way because it was much more cost effective at that time for both of us. Also I could not get a loan in my name at time of divorce because I'd been off work for 5 yrs due to several major reconstructive back surgeries and even though I had excellent credit & spousal support all banks told me they needed to see at least 2-3 years of me making all payments for mortgage, prop taxes, ins, before I could get a loan. No problem I had it covered but w/much difficulty.
my ex is a bad guy. He was mad that I got the home, even though I'm the one who did everything here. He was ordered in the decree to call the mortgage co. and advise them that I now am the full legal owner of the home & will be making all payments from here on out. He was to authorize them to have me added on the account for the purposes of being able to ask questions/get any info when ever I needed to. He never did any of this so when I would call them most of the time they would not give me any info.
he also started screwing around w/my mail, having things sent to him or elsewhere. He also called the mortgage co continually having them send all bills/etc from them to wherever he was. It was a constant problem that has gone on for years. I ended up calling the morg co monthly to find out where the statement was. Like I said I would get people who wouldn't talk to me at all & some would once I explained the whole situation. Every time I would get the morg co to send the payments to the home address my ex would then change it back to him. At 1 point down the road I got to speak w/someone there in depth & she was one of the people who helped me get the bills going back to the house. Then she tells me (or confirmed what I already knew) that my ex had never called in to authorize me on the account ever but she could see all of the times where he called in to change the mail from them away from the house to what ever address he was living at, at the time. I tried many times to get copies of all communications from myself & ex so I could prove what I was saying to everyone but was told they don't release internal info. I even asked my attny so many times to get them subpoenaed but this was another thing he never did. I also started noticing that I was not getting all sorts of mail.
I would end up having to pay the mortgage over the phone which cost $15 every time I did it this way. So I asked if I could just set up automatic w/d from my checking. They told me no because I was not authorized on the accnt.
I spent a ridiculous amount of $ trying to have my attny to deal w/this & other things my ex was doing even after the divorce was over. I should have been able to move on in peace. It never mattered even when my attny would have to get the judge involved, my ex would laugh it off & say "i don't care what anyone says i do what i want!" this is my house that I worked my tail off for & I certainly did not want any more problems from him or w/my house. I wanted to make sure my payments got there on time all the time. My ex didn't care, he was very abusive to me & constantly threatened me that " if you don't do what i say or things don't go my way then i will do what ever i have to to get the outcome i want!" well he meant it & I have been in hell for the last 5 yrs now because of it. He wanted me to screw up on a payment so he could go to the court, file a contempt charge against me so he could force me out of the house/cause me to lose it.
I started having health problems due to all of the stress from my ex. 2 yrs down the road I'm still dealing w/him screwing around w/my mortgage & mail. My attny was dropping the ball w/several things, this being one of them. It was all very stressful & by this point I had developed several serious illnesses from the stress & was unable to get out of the house much at all. So I had to rely on putting my outgoing bills in my mailbox to be sent, which is across the street from my home & not a locked box, nor in view from inside my home. At this time I did not know that someone was now taking things from the mailbox or that I was about to be notified soon of credit card theft. I'm still calling every month to the morg co to make sure they were getting all payments I mailed & they had.
then several mo later I was taken to the e.r. I figured I was going to get admitted so while in a rush to get to the hospital I had put some of my bills in the mailbox so they weren't late in case I was admitted. Well I did get admitted. The following month I got a statement in the mail from the morg co & mailed it out. The month after that I did not get a statement. So I called them to make a payment by phone & that is when I found out they had not received the payment I put in my mailbox when at the hospital. It was now over 30 days late. I took care of the payment paid the late fees & current month's payment. Then I freaked out because I knew this was because of my ex & he did it on purpose. I also was scared because I didn't want any more problems & he was just waiting for a chance to mess me up. (through out the entire process before, during & after I had nothing but problems of one sort or another & he was reprimanded too many times to count, which enraged him even more so he'd act out more. I hadn't done 1 thing wrong ever so he was always tying to make trouble)
I immediately called my attny to let him know what had happened, I did not want to get blamed for this. I asked him to call my ex's attny to explain what happened, that it was not intentional on my part & that if my ex were doing what he was supposed to be doing, not causing me problems that none of this would ever had happened. I also asked him to make him authorize me on the morg so I could get the auto payment set up & that I couldn't handle more stress because it was greatly effecting my health, finances, it was too much that had gone on too long.
months went by & I heard nothing from anyone. I thought wow my attny must have cracked the whip to get anywhere & that my ex was actually acting like an adult for once. I can't believe he didn't use this to start a ton of trouble for me. Then another month or so passed & I received in the mail notice that my ex had filed a contempt charge against me for not just 1 late payment but lied & said 2, & said I've drastically effected his credit. My attny didn't even call me when he got notice. Apparently he dropped another ball & didn't call my ex's attny like I asked, if he had I would have gotten this notice right after it all happened, I knew my ex was trying to accomplish this all along. Like I said he does what he wants & doesn't care. He makes millions & millions of dollars a yr. he doesn't care, he has near perfect credit anyway & could pay cash for anything he wants anytime w/o blinking twice. If he was so worried about his credit then he should have done everything he was supposed to do out of concern for his credit. If the situation were reversed I'd bend over back wards to make sure the other party had everything they needed to be able to take care of business. Not only would I ever intentionally hurt anyone's credit, I was trying to create as much distance from him as possible. I had been advised by my doctors that it was vital for me to get as much stress out of my life as possible & since he was the start/source of it, he was the last person I'd risk any confrontation with.
he then started deducting $$ out of my support checks & told me he would be making the payments from now on making a huge issue like he was so victimized. I tried getting my attny to file contempt charges against him for not complying w/our decree in addition to some other issues he did not comply with. I asked him to do everything he could to get my ex's attny to understand how/why this all happened. I also stressed that if my ex wants me to be able to re-fy the loan then it is imparative I make these payments so I can prove it to the banks. I spent almost a year chasing after him to deal w/this. Well attny didn't do much, I don't know why & now my ex is trying to force me to sell the house because he doesn't want to be attached to it any longer. His attny's a hard & they have made this whole thing into so much more than it is.
I hope this explains this part of the story better. If you re-read what I posted the 1st time maybe it will fill in some of the blanks and give you a better idea of why things are the way they are.
I posted in different areas because I think I need info in real estate, disability(as in can he do this to a very sick, disabled, unemployed woman. Are there laws here that protect me in this situation w/the house, loss of $$ & abuse) maybe family law, & because he has covered almost every area of abuse by the law's definition, causing me to lose a ridiculous amount of $$ on attny fees, medical bills, years of my life & a future filled w/surgeries I need, more medical bills, probably not being able to have a child by any means & loss of more life. I don't know what type of lawyer deals w/this.
like I said, for several reasons, I can't afford to move(re-read 1st post). I can't physically deal w/it now. This is my house, I've lived here 10+yrs & worked my butt of for it, long before I moved here. Then there's my brother too. He is a full time student, unemployed & no where to go either. He helps me w/things that I can no longer afford in exchange for not being able to pay rent, does physical things I cannot do & being house bound all the time does other things for me too - does he have rights in this matter, like as a tenant?
can my ex force me in my situation to move, to spend & lose all that I have w/no way to recover? He's already cost me my spousal support so this house &what's left of my savings is all I have left. I'm also afraid that since the stress has not stopped & my health has plummeted so badly that I could have some very serious consequences, much worse than what's already happened. I've almost died 2x now & thank god I haven't but I don't know how much more my body can handle if this doesn't stop.
I can no longer afford an attny anymore. Besides I feel very taken advantage of by them financially. I've already called the bar assoc, told them just a few things the attnys did & was told by them that those things were very un-acceptable & I should file complaints. Because of my health & after hearing from many that not much happens to them anyway I was to scared to because of how unethical some of what they did to me was. Also heard that it doesn't matter how unethical/terrible a judge is or what they do, they are pretty much untouchable.
sorry for being long again, it's just this is a really complicated case & situation. I've been given bad advice from my attys which has caused problems, the last judge we had totally violated my civil rights, I have never experienced/ been talked to/ treated anything remotely like that before. Now this is spinning out of control & I don't know who to trust or how to stop it. There are so many things that should not have happened that people in the "legal field" have done.
I just want to have some justice & be treated fairly. Like I said I think people are swayed by my ex &/or afraid of him because of his money & because they are afraid he may do to them what he's done to me just to be a .(pardon) so he's been allowed to get away w/things that are really bad. Then I want to forget I ever knew him & try to repair the damage to my health & life so I can get back to living it. I miss it.
I hope this has filled in blanks from my 1st post.
I thank you so much for any input.

[J_9]

Dogmom, Paragraphs would make it much easier for the experts to read and respond.

[ScottGem]

I'm sorry, but you need to condense this if you want help. Lets try it this way. Just ask your questions, tell us what you need to know briefly and succintly. Leave off all the background, it is just muddying things up. If we need more info, we will ask specific questions that you can answer succintly. But we can't wade though all this extraneous info.

[JudyKayTee]

Dogmom, Paragraphs would make it much easier for the experts to read and respond.

I did read it thoroughly and I did respond and Dogmom did NOT answer any questions, "simply" went on to another board.

[ScottGem]

I did read it thoroughly and I did respond and Dogmom did NOT answer any questions, "simply" went on to another board.

Yes you did and they were good questions. She also ignored my point that she posts too much extraneous info.

But she needs to understand how to "work" this site. Hopefully she will come back and do as we suggested so we can provide help.