[karm3n23]

My boyfriend never wants to go out just the two of us, its always with his friendsi have a daughter with him what should I do?

[Homegirl 50]

Tell him that you'd like to go out with him alone sometime.

[karm3n23]

I've done that for instince today I asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner just the two of us, my daughter is camping with the family. His excuse is he doesn't have money then I offers to pay for everything. We have been together for almost 4 years and it's the same thing or he's too tired but when his boys call him he jumps of the bed/couch to go out with them. It's the same thing if I ask him to go out with me and my daughter and it's the same excusses. Help!

[Homegirl 50]

Then you need to talk to him calmly not in an accusing way and tell him this bothers you, that you don't understand why he does this. Let him know this hurts you. Ask him to tell you why he can go out with his buddies, but not with you.
Or you need to ask yourself how much longer you want to be treated this way. How long you want to be an option to him

[karm3n23]

I'm sorry for the bother I asked him to sit down to talk about it he just says he doesn't want to get into it at that moment and I would say okay when your ready and it'll be never. Then he just went to bed and fell asleep. I think about ending it but its hard he's my first long term relationship and its my first and only child with him. I always think about my daughter she's 3 and she knows when I'm sad/mad etc. I just don't know what to do. Is it bad/mean to go out with out him? And just go by myself I don't really have anybody to have a good time with my social life stopped years ago.

[karm3n23]

I'm sorry for the bother I asked him to sit down to talk about it he just says he doesn't want to get into it at that moment and I would say okay when your ready and it'll be never. Then he just went to bed and fell asleep. I think about ending it but its hard he's my first long term relationship and its my first and only child with him. I always think about my daughter she's 3 and she knows when I'm sad/mad etc. I just don't know what to do. Is it bad/mean to go out with out him? And just go by myself I don't really have anybody to have a good time with my social life stopped years ago.

[Homegirl 50]

It would help you to get a social life. You need to be able to have fun as well. The thing about going out when you are alone and unhappy it opens the door for another person to walk in. Do you have girlfriends you can do things with?
But if you are not happy and he won't even talk to you things will not get better. He will still be your daughter's father but he does not have to make your life miserable.
You might want to consider that the relationship is over. It's like he is just taking you for granted.
How old are the two of you? Do you work outside the home?

[karm3n23]

I know I need to have more fun but I had my

[karm3n23]

I had my daughter when I was 17 and I stood with her 24/7. I have told him that him not talking about it is not good for us and its not going to solve its self. And the relationship is never going to get better. I don't have girlfriends to chill with. Irony go out to meet new people because I'm always with my daughter and when we do go out its because I'm a security at a club, I don't blame him for not being next to me 24/7

[karm3n23]

The only reason he goes is so I won't get hurt and because so that guys won't be around me. Were both 20 years old.

[Homegirl 50]

I think he is acting like a selfish 20 year old. If you guys are going to be a couple he can't behave like a single person all of the time. He needs to in fact he should want to spend time with you and your daughter.
Like I said before, you may want to rethink this relationship. He wants to behave like a single person, let him be single. If he does not want to work in the issues, walk away from him. Just make sure you have an order for him to pay child support.

[karm3n23]

Yhea I've thinking about that for a very very long time. My mom tells me that I'm only 20 and that I have my whole life ahead of me. It's just that I've been with him for a very long time for me and I don't know any better plus I don't now how react and recover from a break up. Every day I get more and more confused I just don't know what to do do?
Thank you so much tor your help.

[Homegirl 50]

You will be fine. Your mom is right. Don't let this guy run you down. You deserve better and your daughter does not need to grow up seeing her dad treat her mom poorly. She will think this is normal. Remember they learn from us, we set the example.
Keep us posted.
I wish you well.

[karm3n23]

You are so right my daughter us really smart, and I will keep in touch on how's everything. Ima talk to him tomorrow about everything and ima base my decision on it.
Thank you very much!

[Homegirl 50]

You're welcome young lady