[sharke61]

My son is 23. He works half time at a supermarket. Any spare time he has in between work he is in his room on the computer. I love him and am happy that he lives here but I wish he had more direction. He's quite happy to work and then go into his room. He pays board and does the odd jobs. What should I do?

[Jake2008]

Sometimes, love is blind, and although I understand why you would want to have your son at home, and contributing to the household, it just may be time to encourage him to plan an independent life for himself.

Part time work while attending college is one thing, but part time work without a plan to move on, and grow up, is another entirely.

Does he ever talk about any ambitions such as learning a trade, or attending college? If he has a social life outside of work and being on the computer, and if he does, what are his friends doing with their lives.

It may not be a pleasant subject to bring up, because it is going to set some expectations he may not wish to consider, but, for his sake, I would personally be moving in the direction of helping him get on with his life.

[joypulv]

Excellent advice from Jake as always.
I just want to ask about you yourself - are you a single parent, is he your only child, and do you rely on him around the house? Many a grown child takes on a role as helpmeet in that kind of situation, and the parent, although wishing the best for the child in his or her need to get out in the world, hangs on just as much as the child does.
One thing you can do is sit down together with all your monthly expenses for the house, food, car, insurance, health, and so on, and show him exactly what 'life' costs. If he were to chip in a more reasonable part of all that, I'm sure he'd be working full time. Maybe he should be, just for starters.