[disturbedman]

My wife and I met when we were quite young and subsequently we got married at the age of 23. We had several good years together and we have 4 beautiful children. We have been married 12 years and I am thinking of calling it quits. I am very content with my job and my children and my financial predicament but I'm no longer happy with my marriage. Over the years, my wife has lied to me about several serious things. She also had an affair with one my friends two years ago, which I thought I had gotten over, but I realize that it still is an underlying issue that contributes towards the continued lack of trust. I have told her that I am thinking of moving out. I have discussed the financial impacts as well as custodial issues. My wife seems to think I will not move and she "calls my bluff" and says I should just move, rather than say it all the time. I'm not looking for attention, but rather, I want to make my move as least disrupting to my children. My children presently attend private schools and get to vacation a few times a year. This is a result of both my wife and I working together. If I move, it will certainly have negative impact on my children's lifestyle. Should I move and deal with the consequences or should I stay and be miserable for the sake of the children?

[JudyKayTee]

It's always been my experience that children would rather be raised with less in peace and tranquility than raised with expensive vacations in a family with open (or underlying) hostility.

I think you need to consult an Attorney before you do anything. Just packing up and moving out is NOT the way to go if you want to sae your "tail."

And the other thought - how long can you live this way? You deserve to be happy. How did you get past the affair - or didn't you?

[disturbedman]

Thanks for the advice. I didn't consider getting an attorney involved because I'm not looking to start dividing up assets just yet. I'm trying to distance myself from her but still maintain an amicable relationship for the sake of the children. Not familiar with family case law but would I be compromising my stake of the assets by moving out, even though my name is still attached to the properties/accounts? If so, maybe an attorney is appropriate.

[JudyKayTee]

I would spend that initial fee and run this past an Attorney before I did anything. I wouldn't even take a CHANCE that my actions would make a bad situation worse.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be fair. I am saying not to be stupid.