[CloSmo]

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 months. We're pretty serious for such a short relationship and we can't stand being a part from each other.

His parents (Mother in particular), is very controlling. He needs to be home before dark, Can't go out to dinner (with me, or anyone), doesn't have access to his own bank account, and gets yelled at for every little thing. And get he often has the responsibility of looking after 4 of 5 siblings. He's 18-going-on-19 and I'm 20. His 20 year old brother has many of the same restrictions but sometimes they're more relaxed with him.

This is putting a lot of strain on him- he's been diagnosed with a severe case of depression- and us.

I know part of the problem is that he's Greek and I'm not, but in saying that she is nice to me. She told me that she loved me, asked me to help her get boyfriend to talk to his family more and asks why I don't visit. Then turns around and accuses boyfriend of being sexually active (we're not. Both virgins. He's a "no sex before marriage" kind of guy), that we're immoral. Tells him that I'm just going to leave him and break his heart, that I'm not someone to get attached to.

Oftentimes I get phone calls from him and he's in tears because of something his mother has said or done or stops him from doing and it breaks my heart to hear him like that.

I don't know if the problem is me or of the problem was there all along and he never realized it until he got a girlfriend (I'm the first).

Any advice?

[Fr_Chuck]

Problem is he is not ready to be a adult, when he is, he will start breaking free,

You have to give it time.

[WisperWill70]

Yup --- only time will tell if Smother Mother will control his life as he grows up a little...

Give it time, don't react to it and stay out of the way!! This is the best, tried and true advice I can give ;) Mom might love you to bits and think you're wonderful and think you're a whore who is going to hurt her precious baby all in one breath. -- It's confusing and painful for some moms to share their babies with a new person and watch them grow up. -- Give her time. It's 100% Not about you! Trust me. If you're sweet to mom - she will eventually give up and get to know you.

A lot of times moms grow out of this. In the meantime - when he cries... reassure him that things are OK. Respect mom, love her - and when he's out of the house he can be a man and take care of himself. He sounds like a sensitive soul. These are just the struggles of growing up. The stronger he feels, the more self esteem he can have (working through his depression) the more he will be able to have a healthy relationship to his mom and therefore you too -- without living and dying by how you/mom are acting or feeling.
Emotional independence is what he, the mom and you are aiming towards to make this better

Good luck!