[kelllyymm123]

Hi,
I am married and in love with another married man. Last month we had sex -it was a conscious decision by both of us and we decided to keep it "no strings attached" just sex but unfortunately it didn't work out. Our families went in a trip together and his wife had some suspicion. My friend's wife suddenly closed the door of friendship on us.
I had fallen in love with this guy after having sex. I also love my husband very much and perform all my responsibilities etc. I have tried to call this guy but either doesn't answer my phone or just cuts me short. He never calls me either.
I am thinking since everything is over to tell the truth to his wife and family to take revenge for whatever he did to me? All I want is to stay in touch with this guy not for sex or anything just friends but even that seems to be impossible for him.Plz spare me the guilt -I really need advices here.
Please advice what should I do?

[ali18ninja]

Well since you realized you totally screwed up, you can get over that and move on. As far as getting revenge on him, what for? He's a married man. He has no obligation to speak to you or have and relationships with you. He's obviously a pig and would probably cheat on you if you two were to get married. So what YOU should do is confess to YOUR husband your adultery and pray that he forgives you. If not, well lesson learned. You have a husband who vowed to love you until death and you also made those vows. Leave the other man and his family alone. He needs to man up and confess also but I don't believe you should try to break up his marriage. Although it would be fair to tell his wife but that's all on you.

[Jake2008]

It is likely that your lover has already told his wife. It is also not a good idea to further push the issue of contact, or seek revenge for 'what he did to you'.

Perhaps his wife will call your husband, for a little revenge of her own.

Your husband will probably learn of what you have done, sooner or later. You may want to get your mind off making life miserable for your lover, and make life better for your marriage- by owning up to what you have done.

The choices you made, have nothing to do with anybody else. It seems that had your lover decided to see you on the side, you'd still be seeing him. In my eyes, that makes you equally as morally bankrupt as him.

And should you choose to step up, take responsibility, and try to put your marriage back together, there will be consequences to face. Being cheated on, is not something that is easy to forgive and forget.

If you're lucky, your husband might just give you a chance.

[WisperWill70]

You forget about this, put it into the past and focus on the next steps forward. The fact that he wanted "no strings sex" means that he was never going to fall for you like you fell for him and the fact that he's in a marriage and cheating on his spouse means he could never rescue you from your pain or negative feelings about yourself/spouse. The fact that he won't reach out and doesn't want anything to do with you shows you what a huge mistake this is.

You won't feel better if you blow his life apart and talk to his wife --- Revenge is a tantrum and you're having a tantrum because you didn't get what you wanted (someone to love you) it will not make you happy, I guarantee!!
Your revenge attacks YOU and hurts YOU and nobody else in the long run. Then you have nothing you wanted, and no-one is happy and this whole awful experience is mirrored back to you in some yet unforseen way that won't be pleasant.

And wanting to be his friend? You don't need him as a friend - be honest with yourself and stop lying to yourself about why you want to be just friends. Be friends with other people and the hubby you love...

Get help for yourself, learn to value yourself and talk to someone about your marriage or your life that you feel this empty... keep moving forward
wishing you the best!

[slapshot_oi]

Please advice what should I do?

Staying in touch with him, even to be friends, is a bad idea. Just let it go.