[b0red]

I admit, I have little experience with woman so please bear with me.

She works at a coffee shop next to where I work, and I go in a few times a week to get my drinks. I'm shy, and so is this girl. When we first started small chat I became attracted to her because of her shyness. I thought her nervousness / awkwardness at first was great.


After we started talking a little I stopped paying for drinks from her. She basically would throw them at me so she wouldn't get caught by management (I never asked and always had my wallet out ready to pay!) After a month or so, and my starting to become REALLY attracted to her, I asked her if she would like to hangout sometime. She said she has a boyfriend, and that was that.

This is where my lack of experience has me confused.

I continue to go in for my drinks, but ever since I asked her to hangout a few months ago we have started talking a lot more. Her shyness has mostly disappeared, and she has told me a lot about herself. She's opened up about her school, major, that she has diabetes, what classes she's in and how much she hates it. I could go on, I'll stop there.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I went in asked how her day was and she said it started bad. I was thinking something bad at work, but she ended up telling me that her boyfriend said "f**k you" to her, and she was obviously mad. More recently I caught her sitting outside of her store closed and she was all pissed again. Apparently she let her boyfriend take her car while she was working, told him what time to pick her up at and he was late.

Sorry it's long, I have more to say then I thought.

OKAY! Now, a few days ago she had a customer who was in front of me, ordered his food and moved away. I ordered my drink and made my way to her area of the counter so that I could talk with her. This customer looks at her and says "Oh now you're smiling!!, now that you're talking to him." (I never thought about it until he said this, but her shyness really shines threw, and she rarely seems to smile at work.) I was honestly thrilled he said that, but sort of let it slide since I know she has a boyfriend. Something else that happened a few days ago. I walked in and they were kind of busy, more employees then usual and customers in the store. As soon as I walked in she practically yelled "Hi Steve!!" over all the other employees etc... It threw me back a little. When we talk, we also can hold eye contact quite well (not sure if that's good or bad on the romantic scale).

She's going on vacation for two weeks this Friday, and I don't necessarily want to go two weeks without talking to her. I also, don't want to necessarily ask her to hangout, or ask for her number because of the last time a few months ago. I guess I'm stuck now. Would it be wrong for me to ask for her number, or perhaps maybe if she just has a Facebook? Should I stop going in, and just let it go? I can't figure out if she might have a little crush on me, or if I'm more likely just friend zoned, and need to accept it?

Thanks.

[talaniman]

Go ahead, chase the cutie who has a boyfriend and is in a rocky relationship. See the trouble it gets you in. Females in rocky relationships need friends, not romantic partners chasing them, or befriending them for their own purposes. That simple so back off, and do NOTHING.

No invites or numbers that get you closer than you are, just a friendly customer. Maybe its YOU who needs the 2 weeks away from HER!

When will guys (and girls) understand that when you take a wounded person, and nurse them back to health, they are grateful, but ready to leave after they heal.

That's why you keep a safe distance, because she needs time to get her relationship settled before you interfere, distract, confuse, or misguide, because of YOUR feelings, and wants, with no regard to her situation. That's selfish, and dangerous for you both.