[Newcastlegrl]

We have been together 7 years and have a 3 year old. Things have been somewhat rocky here and there. We have both hurt each other. I have went to stay with family a couple time to ease the tension when things get too much. 2 years ago we moved 1200 miles away from most of our family and friends. He has become a different person. A better person. He has made a ton of new friends, started a new job that he loves, started back to school, and is in 3 bands (he has always done music as a hobby). One of my problems with this is that he gets to do all of this and I am stuck with our little boy.

About 6 months ago, I decided to stay with my Mom after another heated argument. I always felt that he chose everyone else over me and my son. We started hanging out again, seeing each other with and without our child, talking/texting everyday. We started to re-learn how to communicate, have fun together, laugh together, etc. I started going to his shows again. He told me he loved me, held my hand, kissed me a couple times, hugged me, etc. He even told me that I WAS his girl. This made me so happy. I love him more than words and wanted this to work out so badly.

About a moth ago, we spent a 4 days weekend together. It was amazing. I felt like a family again. At the end of the weekend, I got a call that my apartment would be ready. The next day I got my official acceptance letter into the Bachelor's program I really wanted. All of a sudden, I he didn't call me for a couple days. That Friday, we were at the brewery he works at and I was talking with the owner's wife (everyone there knows who I am). There was a group of women that would grab him and literally hang all over him every time he walked by. He commented to me that I should be standing up for myself against them. Later, I over heard him telling the chicks that we weren't together and once I leave it's on like "donkey kong." This really upset me, I left... he followed me to the car saying it was a joke. Things started to fall apart again. He has completely pulled back, to the point that within the past couple days he has literally told me that he hates me. What? He has been extremely mean out of no where.

Up until now, there have been a couple times that I have found an email, text, or Facebook message to women that have been out of line. This has somewhat broken my trust and made me a jealous person. I don't want to be that person!

I am in the process of moving now. He hasn't lifted a finger to help. Not even taking my son for a bit while I do things. He is ignoring my texts/calls. I had to go to his house to get some things. My side of our bed has always been made. Not today! Both sides were used. There was a pair of his sweat pants nicely folded on my side of the bed. The lamp on his side was plugged in and had been used (he never used it ever before). I called him and told him that I think I deserve to know who this is. I have a feeling I know who it is. She is the first person to "like" every comment he posts on Facebook and has been texting him. They were meeting out without my knowledge, recently. He flipped out. Came home. Took my key and said extremely mean/harsh things. This was a couple days ago.

He has a gig over this weekend out of town. He calls me that night, like nothing ever happened. Then he calls me the next morning, telling me more about the night and what he is doing today. He told me that I am jumping to conclusions and that he hasn't slept with anyone (who knows what really happened in the bed that we conceived a child in). I bluntly told him that I don't care and I'm tired of chasing him. We talked for about 20 minutes after this... like it's all cool.

I am extremely torn up by this whole thing. It is driving me crazy. I can't eat or sleep. I can't concentrate. We have leaned on each other for what seems like forever. We are best friends. He has even said that. We share a child (which he hasn't been around much this past month). His mom doesn't even know about all of this: meaning that she doesn't even know that I left 6 months ago.

I am wondering (after all of this typing, LOL) if there is anyway to change this. If there is anyone that has been through something like this. I am heartbroken.He JUST told me he loved me a month ago. What do I do? How do I get him to a) possibly stop seeing this person and b) get him to come back and keep working on this. We were doing so well. He has put up this wall and I can't seem to break through it!

[talaniman]

I have to tell you that despite the good times, the bad ones are really bad and you both have your separate lives apart. I highly suggest that you get visitations and custody issues settle through the courts so at least you both can be good parents and build your lives around your son, but not the relationship.

It just didn't work, and its time to put fault, blame, anger disappointment, frustration, and false hope behind, and look for to something better.