[prazegod]

I'm sad to say I'm a single mom. My husband left us five years ago. He left me to raise one son with ADHD, and our youngest son who was always so close to me. We did absolutely everything together! Our older son thrives on making life very difficult. As many single moms know, you have to work a lot of hours to keep things up and running. Older son left. My younger son and I remained close, and at first he missed me while I had to work all these hours. But to my absolute dismay, he has grown to LOVE my always working. If anything, he hates any time I try to spend with him.

I try and try to take an interest in what he's interested in. I try to have 'dinner' time w/ him. I'm so deeply saddened by his behavior toward me. I just don't understand why he doesn't want to spend time w/ me. I even converted our garage into a workout/hangout area for us and a cool place to hang with his friends. Nothing I do seems to restore the relationship that was always filled w/ love and closeness. My older son is in college. I try constantly to let him know he is loved. Being difficult is something he's enjoyed most of his life. My husband truly resented him.

What I really should share, is that Ive been diagnosed w/ stage 4 cancer. This is the 4th time I've had to battle this disease. This time is a bit harder. My husband was wonderful for the first diagnoses. But by the 2nd diagnoses, combined w/ the challenges of my older son, he left us. After sharing nights w/ a variety of women, he now resides w/ a fake blond haired woman, who was once an old neighbor. We were married for 12 years. My younger son visits his dad 2-3 days during the week. His dad gets his time.

I value our time together so much. He just refuses to be with me more than 5 minute intervals. He runs errands for me, than turns away. I thank him when he helps. I don't know what to do. I feel so afraid. Without my boys, I feel so lost. Especially my 16 old. I am blessed with loving parents who are supporting me every step of the way. Friends who circle me w/ love and help. I just can't bare the absence of me son. Why won't he talk with me? What can I do? We are Christian. We go to a wonderful church. I'm so upset. I don't understand what I've done that he won't connect with me any more.

[Wondergirl]

I'm sorry to hear about the cancer. I am a cancer survivor (so far), so you have my best wishes.

I'm thinking it's the cancer that has pushed your son away from you. It might be a separation thing where by he believes he will lose his mother in the near future, so he knows he must learn how to live without her and is doing that now already. Something similar might have happened with your husband--get out now so my heart doesn't get broken.

[talaniman]

I feel for your situation, it's a difficult time. Try to keep things in perspective. He is a growing man/boy. And hanging with your mom all the time is not high on a 16 year olds list. I think if you understand this, you will make the adjustments to this changing relationship with your son.

Allow him some space, especially if he is a good kid generally, and know that your health is a difficult situation for him too. He is at the crossroads of facing an uncertain future.

Praying for your recovery.

[sgree175]

OK coming from a teen point of view, your sos are probs pulling away because it difficult for them to see their mum in a difficult place(trust me I know) talk to your sons sit them down and talk not interrigate them also talk to the father and see what he's been saying to them.GOOD LUCK FOR THE FUTURE