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    imadgeara's Avatar
    imadgeara Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 28, 2007, 03:45 PM
    Can an old cheater be a faithfull wife?
    I love a cute girl she`s a 25 years old yoga teacher, I am 31 years old lawyer,I know her from a long time ago(10 years ago... sexual things happened) ,but we`ve been seriously dating for 5 months. The Big problem is that she was seriously engaged in a relationship wiz a guy that she was betraying sexually with me... then he knew that she was cheating on him... and he dumped her/ now I believe she loves me ,and she`s doing a lot to show me that she cares,and that she can be responsible and honest.. and that she can have a new clean and better life...
    Do you think will she ever change?. can a cheater and betrayer become a faithfull partenaire or not?
    I love her... but my logic and analysis are against my heart.what should I do,

    Please Helppppp!!
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
    Uber Member
    		  
    #2

    Feb 28, 2007, 03:50 PM
    I would go with the logic and analysis. Listen to it. I am a firm believer in the old saying, "if you have to ask..." that you already know the answer.

    If you decide to forge through and marry, hope you get a prenup. Also, hope you really never need it, but one never knows.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member
    		  
    #3

    Feb 28, 2007, 03:52 PM
    Your wild leap to take. No easy answer.

    I dated a great girl I knew to have cheated before... as is she didn't cheat on a boyfriend but she messed with a married man when she was single and knew it every step of the way.

    I had a blast in that relationship. But it ended, you guessed it, with her cheating and my finding out.

    Of course my girlfriend was in the same position as you... meaning you are a "cheater" of sorts, helping a committed person cheat on another without respect for the other person (the fiancee) involved. So she should ask the same of you.

    So... I think people can change. I think its hard. And I think id have a hard time trusting anyone who cheated.

    You can take that leap. It might be absolutely fine. It might not.

    Wish I had a better answer. I guess if you are compatible in most areas, and your relationship is based on more than lust, you might be fine. No guarantees ever anyway.
    jrax2's Avatar
    jrax2 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Mar 31, 2007, 02:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by imadgeara
    i love a cute girl she`s a 25 years old yoga teacher, i am 31 years old lawyer,i know her from a long time ago(10 years ago...sexual things happened) ,but we`ve been seriously dating for 5 months. The Big problem is that she was seriously engaged in a relationship wiz a guy that she was betraying sexually with me...then he knew that she was cheating on him....and he dumped her/ now i believe she loves me ,and she`s doing a lot to show me that she cares,and that she can be responsable and honest..and that she can have a new clean and better life....
    do you think will she ever change?...can a cheater and betrayer become a faithfull partenaire or not?
    i love her ...but my logic and analysis are against my heart.what should i do,

    please Helppppp!!!!
    Would you consider yourself marriage material? After all, you knew that she was in a serious relationship, and yet you chose to have a sexual relationship with her anyway. So, if you can straighten up and decide to be an honest man with her, why would it be so difficult for you to believe that she wants to be a good, honest and faithful woman for you?
    jrax2's Avatar
    jrax2 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #5

    Mar 31, 2007, 02:10 PM
    :confused:
    Quote Originally Posted by jrax2
    Would you consider yourself marriage material? After all, you knew that she was in a serious relationship, and yet you chose to have a sexual relationship with her anyway. So, if you can straighten up and decide to be an honest man with her, why would it be so difficult for you to believe that she wants to be a good, honest and faithful woman for you?
    louie1's Avatar
    louie1 Posts: 183, Reputation: 49
    Junior Member
    		  
    #6

    Mar 31, 2007, 02:12 PM
    If you love someone then you will be faithfull and honest you only ever betray the ones you are not truly in love with so I guess your real question is "is she IN LOVE with me ?
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