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    nehaaro06061985's Avatar
    nehaaro06061985 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 18, 2012, 06:34 PM
    Are we in a rut?
    Hi, We are in a relationship for more than 8 years.. We met when I was 16 and he was 17. First love for both of us. We are 25/26 now. We crazily love each other. Can't stay a single minute without thinking about each other. We sit, we talk, we eat, we shop, we sleep, watch TV & movies, have lots and lots of dates. We enjoy each-other, he is funny and makes me happy all the time. We are like best friends forever. He is not one of those chauvinists men, he is the real man. Goes to work, earns a decent living and helps me at home. I work too.. We don't have any kids. We plan to get married next year and then have kids. But there's a problem in our sex life. He doesn't like sex. He loves to cuddle all the time. He doesn't watch or like porn. He says that he can live with me without sex for his whole life. I told him that he might have got bored with the same usual routine so we tried some different stuff - tos, positions but it didn't really work for him. I tell him that I won't mind if he goes out and try it with someone else and but he doesn't want to do that. He says our relationship is very sacred for him to be going out and doing it with someone else. He tells me that since I am unable to fulfill your needs, I may go out if I like. I don't want to go out either. My parents were divorced so I stayed with my dad during my childhood and did not meet my mum for 7 years. So I always had a space for a mom's love in my life. Just a year before me and my boyfriend met, his mother had passed away. His parents were also divorced and he had stayed with his mum in his entire childhood without the father. He loved his mum deeply and was majorly hurt when he lost his mum. We met just after year his mum passed away, so we both kind of gave each other that comfort and love that we both needed. We pamper and care for each other like a mother would do for her child. That love and comfort is the reason why we have never been unfaithful to each other but can that be the reason why he doesn't like sex. He used to like it in the beginning. For 3 years our sex live was very healthy and alive. Now its like if he wants to do it and I say yes lets do it then he doesn't want to do it any more. But if I say no more than 3-4 times then he respects that. So that just means whenever I get turned on he gets turned off. Please help what should I do?
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #2

    Jun 18, 2012, 07:16 PM
    Sounds to me like he's just bored of doing it with the same person over and over. Kind of like eating the same brand and flavor of chips day in and day out, some people just can't do it. Now the option of sleeping with other people may sound like a good one, but in a case such as this it can ruin a relationship, if he truly is bored then he may never want to come back to it.

    Honestly you both need to find that spark again, or seriously reconsider the relationship.
    nehaaro06061985's Avatar
    nehaaro06061985 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 18, 2012, 07:18 PM
    Hi thanks for the speedy reply.. so what do you suggest to get the spark back?
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #4

    Jun 18, 2012, 07:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nehaaro06061985 View Post
    Hi thanx for the speedy reply.. so what do you suggest to get the spark back?
    Trying new things is really the best way, but it doesn't necessarily mean new positions. Try buying a toy like a vibrator and have him watch or help you, maybe try different places in the house, go buy some lingerie and dance for him. The options are near endless.

    If all that fails, there isn't much that can save it, if a guy doesn't want to have sex there's something up. The male brain on average thinks about sex 7 times per minute, or something amongst that if my mind serves me right.
    Nick Pettr's Avatar
    Nick Pettr Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jun 19, 2012, 01:49 AM
    Strengthen training,usually should be to relax the mood, to pay more attention to rest.

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