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Wedding Etiquette divorced children
Our three year old grandson is to be our daughter's ring-bearer. Problem is that our son and the mother of the ring bearer recently divorced (still very bitter with each) and our son has informed us that his ex-wife has no business at his sister's wedding. Here's the rub in this deal. Both myself and my wife still have a wonderful relationship with the ex-wife (She's a Great Young Lady) and the grandson spends allot of time with us every week. We think that Daycare cost reductions and spending quality time in a Christian home helps her and the little guy. Truth is it's our son that flew the coop on that marriage and as far as we're concerned we hope God touches his heart and softens it. His pride, ego and selfishness are horrible! So here's the predicament. Can we not invite the ex-wife/grandbabies mom and still have the grandson in our daughter's wedding? That just don't seem quite right to me. But by the same token I'm reminded by a select few that the grandson's dad is "Blood" and his wishes take precedence over our feeling towards his ex-wife. This is way too much for the young “bride-to-be” daughter to handle at this point. Bless her heart she's got all that other stuff to think about and plan. God knows she doesn't need this junk right now!
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That's definitely a pickle.
Honestly, it is up to the bride to decide. If she's not willing to, but 100% places the decision in your hands, you'll have to have a heart-to-heart with your son and ex-daughter-in-law. That might shed some light on their ability to attend the same wedding without causing problems. Is the ex-wife wanting to be invited or is it your personal wish to have her there? You'll really have to think about what's best for the entire family on that day. I assume he realizes you're still close to his ex-wife? Their relationship, nor if the boy's mother attends or not, should have any bearing on whether your grandson can be his aunt's ring bearer. "Blood" relative or not, if your son can't put personal matters aside for the sake of his sister & family, he shouldn't attend himself. Hopefully, everyone can be civil enough for one day and let the bride & groom have their moment in the sun. |
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