[shaunajb182]

I'm 15 years old and I had an argument with my mother the other night and she told me I was a mistake and she wanted to get rid of me. For the past few days I have not spoke to her and am not planing to I have thought about running away just to get out her life. I have no idea what to do?? :( :( :( :(

[grammadidi]

The most important thing is to realize that things said in the heat of an argument aren't worth listening too. They are usually said because the person saying them felt hurt and wanted to hurt you back. I think the most important thing to do is communicate!! Don't stop talking to your mom. Running away is sure not the answer, either! You have had several days to sit back and think about the entire argument. What your mom said was not a very nice thing to do, but being a mother to a 15 year old is reaaaaal difficult, too! :) I suggest that you ask your mom if you and her could sit down and talk about the other day. Then, don't accuse, get snarky, angry, etc. Simply express your feelings. Try this... "Mom, I love you so much, and I know it's hard to be my mom sometimes. I need you to know that when you told me that I was a mistake and you wanted to get rid of me the other day it really hurt me. I am having a hard time dealing with it and I am so sad and confused that I have even been thinking of running away." Then look at her with love in your eyes and see what she has to say. Don't interrupt her, don't start thinking about what she is saying. Just listen. When she stops talking, repeat what she says in different words. "Do you mean.....?" If you communicate you will both get through this.

Remember, you are just beginning the journey to becoming independent, knowledgeable and mature enough to eventually strike out on your own. You will know when you are ready when you aren't leaving with hard feelings, but with love and support. This maturing process is real hard on parents. Good communication skills are so important for the both of you through the next 4 or 5 years.

Just try it... okay?

Hugs, Didi

[scol409]

My mother told me the same thing and it hurt me deeply. She later apologized and said she didn't really mean it. Whether your mother meant it or not - you may never know but it wasn't right of her to say it. I am sorry that happened to you. Do not run away. There are greater dangers out there than a mother who says mean things. Can you talk to your mother and calmly but honestly tell her how much that hurt you? It might open up a dialogue between the two of you and improve your relationship from now forward. If that is not possible... then just bide your time. Do you know what that means? Just coast along forward in your life knowing that when you are fully grown you will have the chance to make whatever life you want. We are all given a life but it is up to us what we do with it. Good luck to you.